First Light
by TheQueenWriter
Summary: This is the continuation of Eventide. Collab with Mad Writer
1. Chapter 1

"And then there's the Butterfly"

_"Find me here, speak to me_

_I want to feel you, I need to hear you_

_You are the light that's leading me to the place_

_Where I find peace again."*_

_- Everything-_

_Lifehouse_

**3289 minutes. **

**197,340 seconds. **

**592,020 staccato beats from a racing, struggling heart that eventually gave way to silence. **

**Though I could hear every facet of every sound in the room, though I could feel every touch, the words would not come. The only sounds I seemed capable of were barbaric moans of pain. **

**My teeth ground together until I feared they would disintegrate from the pressure. Every inch of muscle throughout my body clenched, tightening around my bones. I found myself holding my breath, hoping the lack of oxygen would extinguish the blaze, or at very least keep me from screaming.**

**I curled into myself, there on my bed, for days. My knees drawn into my chest like an infant, nails digging into my own palms. Though Charlie pleaded with Bella to leave, she stayed by my side for the duration, vowing to be there for it all. **

**Silently I pleaded for death. I hoped that it would be too much, the thirst, the scent of my blood in the room. That she would snap and end it all and blackness would prevail, quieting the raging wildfire inside my chest. I counted the seconds, the minutes, the breaths. **

**Then, coolness at my back. Bella. Wrapped around me like a survival blanket. She sang softly near my ear and I focused on the notes, counting the meter, playing the chords in my head. Anything to distract my thoughts from the desperate need for **_**any**_** end to this.**

**She stroked the length of my arms and beneath her hands my muscles would ease ever so slightly. An ice cube fighting a wildfire. Her fingers ran through my hair and my neck would release the tension there, her scent enveloping me in a wash of calm. Then, as quickly as it had dissipated, it would return in full force. Those tiny windows of peace carried me through, even if the returning pain seemed to be stronger than previous - as if the universe had to make up for lost time.**

**Her fingers would touch my face, carrying me through her feelings, her memories of the days that mattered most. I wanted to touch her hand, to hold her tightly, to love her in return. But it was all I could do to simply get through 3,289 minutes. 197,340 seconds. And a final, quiet, dead, thump.**

"_My hands are searching for you_

_My arms are outstretched towards you_

_I feel you on my fingertips_

_My tongue dances behind my lips for you_

_This fire rising through my being_

_Burning I'm not used to seeing you_

_I'm still alive_

_I'm still alive_

_I can feel you all around me_

_Thickening the air I'm breathing_

_Holding on to what I'm feeling_

_Savoring this heart that's healing_

_My hands float up above me_

_And you whisper you love me_

_And I begin to fade_

_Into our secret place_

_The music makes me sway_

_The angels singing say we are alone with you_

_I am alone and they are too with you_

_I'm still alive, _

_I'm still alive,_

_We're still alive._

_And I can feel you all around me_

_Thickening the air I'm breathing_

_Holding on to what I'm feeling_

_Savoring this heart that's healing."**_

**As my heart constricted for the last time, I involuntarily sucked air into my lungs. It felt like drowning and being born in the same instant. The pain stopped. Entirely. Like a light was switched off. **

**Bella noticed. Her breathing ceased in a gasp, her body stiffened beside me. She froze like an ice sculpture, awaiting what was next.**

**I exhaled slowly, testing my lungs. Then again, inhaling deeply. On my tongue I could taste all that was Bella around me. Cinnamon, sugar, vanilla, apples, cloves, sugar and spice. Like Christmas. **

**I tried to swallow her scent, the taste of her air. Nothing to swallow, like cotton mouth and a hangover. My tongue felt thick, sticky in my mouth, lacking lubrication. My throat burned, a metallic taste deep inside as if it was bleeding from thirst. **

**My eyes peeled back and for the first time, with perfect clarity, I saw my wife.**

**-x-  
><strong>

I couldn't move. I wasn't quite certain how he was going to react.

I didn't breathe.

I didn't blink.

I watched his eyes search quickly, taking in the room from where he laid. His new eyes. Dark.

_Patience, Bella._

Music played at almost a silent volume in the background, though, he would now hear it clear as day.

My mind was racing two million miles a minute and yet, everything was in slow motion. I wanted to know that he was okay. But I knew better than to push.

He was stronger than me, and even if he didn't understand yet, he was thirsty and could be prone to swift changes in his mood.

Do you hate me? Do you remember who we are? Together?

So many things and I couldn't stop them from dancing inside. My fingers twitched and his eyes darted quickly to their movement.

"Edward?"

"_Have you forgotten all I know and all we had?_

_You saw me mourning my love for you_

_And touched my hand, I knew you loved me then_

_I believe in you_

_I'll give up everything just to find you_

_I have to be with you to live to breathe, you're taking over me"***_

**In awe, I stared at Bella for what felt like a lifetime. Her eyes were filled with concern as she searched mine for answers. I tried again in vain to swallow against the parched heat in my throat. **

**In my peripheral I could see fragments of light splayed out across the room from behind curtains. I heard every note, every breath, every slip of a finger across the guitar string in the music playing on the stereo. There were birds flying overhead outside, waves flowing lazily onto the rocks. And yet my eyes were fixed to hers, unable to look away. Stunned by the sheer gorgeousness of this creature before me, I sat in disbelief for some time. Her finger twitched and mine shot out to touch it, to twist our fingers together the way we always had. I had no time to even consider the movement. In less than a blink it was there. My eyes quickly widened, startled by the sensation of her skin against mine. **

**The current still ran between us, now stronger than ever. Her cool, firm hand now felt delicate and warm in mine. We were even. Her eyes were nearly coal black, specks of amber glitter floating deep within them. **

"**Bella," my voice flowed from my mouth, unrecognizably velvet and smooth. There were no breaks or cracks, no uncertainty. It was like mercury, rolling off my tongue. A slight smile played upon her lips.**

**Her lips. Her perfect, curved lips shimmering with iridescent light, moist and beckoning. **

**It flooded back, every moment of Bella in my life before the searing pain brought blackness to my thoughts. The way it felt to kiss her, to hold her in my arms, to feel her surround every inch of me. And I wanted more. The thirst deep inside my throat was warring with the thirst for my perfect wife. **

"_I remember hearts that beat_

_I remember you and me_

_Tangled in hotel sheets_

_You wore me out, wore me out._

_I remember honey lips and words so true_

_I remember nonstop earthquake dreams of you_

_Coming on fast like good dreams do_

_All night long"****_

**I pulled her toward me, remembering the warnings of strength. She furrowed her brow, uncertain, and the corner of my mouth pulled back into a crooked grin. **

"**I love you," I whispered in my new liquid voice, sliding my other hand into the back of her hair, pulling her closer.**

"_Still can feel you kiss me love_

_Still can see your eyes like diamonds_

_Memories are strong enough_

_To come on and drive me wild_

_Come on and drive me wild"_

His fingers burrowed and twisted into my hair, I stilled as his breath washed over my lips.

_Wow._

Everything the same, but amplified.

The words left me in a silent whisper, without thought, "You smell really good."

I was still hesitant as his lips met mine. He was soft. Warm.

Slowly I lifted my hands to his face, resting them lightly over his jaw. He shifted quickly, pulling me closer.

My lips parted to his, his grip tighter.

I didn't want to ever stop and he was mine, forever, but my ribs were being crushed. He needed to ease up.

I pushed gently on his shoulders, pulling back.I smiled softly.

"You're very strong." I watched his eyes focusing on everything around us. My hand went back to his face. My fingers sliding over his cheek. "It's very different, isn't it?" I smiled when he nodded. His hair was a wreck. A delicious crazy mess and though I wanted nothing more than to stay with him, like this, I knew the burn. I hadn't been out in days. I was half excited to get him out, and half scared shitless.

He would definitely be able to take me out if he wanted to. I was going to have to just rely on faith with this one. I could call Charlie, but I really wanted to do this with Edward on my own. I had already worked out a plan to get him out of the house and into the treeline as fast as possible. I would take the same path that I did on our wedding day.

I glanced down at his bare chest. I stood and grabbed a shirt and was back to him in half a second.

"Here." I smiled handing him the black shirt. "Lets fix that burn. You game?"

-x-

**I hummed against her lips, "Mhmm, very... different," I answered slowly, still getting acclimated to the sound of my own voice. The sensation of her fingers against my skin was no longer a burst of wintergreen. Instead it left a path of heat, warmth, igniting desire with every touch.**

**Once again I was going to have to let Bella take the lead for her own safety. But it was much more difficult to remain in control. My muscles vibrated, twitching with restraint. Part of me knew that in an instant I would be capable of overpowering **_**anything **_**in my path. And I didn't want that to ever be Bella.**

**I cocked a brow and replied with a devilish grin. "Oh, I'm game," I countered, slipping the shirt over my head. I held out my hand to her, letting her lead the way.**

* * *

><p>AN  
>Welcome back. We hope enjoy the second half.<p>

QofH and MW

* Lifehouse- Everything  
>** Flyleaf - All Around Me<br>*** Evanescence - Taking Over Me  
>**** Matt Nathanson - Still<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

_"If I'm out hunting_

_Come right on in, yeah_

_And even when I'm gone_

_My doors are always open"*_

_-Away-_

_The Toadies_

* * *

><p>I laced my fingers through his and paused as we hit the door. I turned quickly on him.<p>

"Edward." I looked up at him. "Hold your breath. There are still people here. This is not exactly the most remote area." My eyes pleading with him. Hoping he understood.

"I will do everything in my power to help you, but, you're so much stronger than I am." I raised a shoulder.

He stood stone still. Unblinking, and then smiled at me.

My knees went weak and everything swam.

"We are going to go out the door, across the driveway. You have to act human, just in case." I stared at him. Shit. I was totally screwed. We should be in Alaska, not at his house in Washington.

"Relax your shoulders a bit, just a little, until we can get into the trees." He shrugged around a bit and I laughed. It was fun to watch him feel his way around his body.

I opened the door to the grey, wet, foggy air. "Hold your breath." I kept his hand firmly in my own and he closed the door behind us with a bang.

We walked quickly, I listened intently for anything human, I didn't catch a scent or hear anyone.

When we hit the tree line, I dragged him a bit deeper before stopping and turning to look up at him. "You wanna race?" I lifted a brow. I knew he would be itching to move. Exercise his new body, move the muscles that I am certain were twitching with the desire to go.

"Come get me, Superman." And in a flash I was gone. I heard his laugh and in the blink of an eye he was next to me. Damn those newborn skills. I laughed again as we both jumped over a fallen tree.

His jump was a bit further than mine, new found freedom. He moved gracefully, like a lion. His bare feet gliding over the damp ground.

I breathed in deeply. Here.

"Edward. Stop. Wait."

What I hadn't planned on, was him actually stopping. So when I slammed into him full force, we tumbled to the ground together.

I looked down at him.

"Sorry." I smiled.

XoX

**I trusted Bella and everything that came with her decades of experience. So, when she turned to face me, concern pulling her brows together, I heeded the warning. **

**Holding my breath was not uncomfortable in the least. In fact, it was kind of fun - not needing to breathe. At her prompt, we took off, running through the trees, dodging branches and jumping over fallen limbs. Running at that speed, navigating the path, felt like I had just woken up from a forty year nap and was stretching my muscles for the first time. I effortlessly hurled across massive spaces and Bella kept in stride.**

**I found myself thinking about the barrier reef without any cumbersome equipment when Bella stopped short. In an instant she was on top of me. And the thirst was temporarily forgotten.**

"**Bella," I grinned, "you didn't have to bring me out here for **_**this**_**." **

**God she was gorgeous. Her silky hair fell down both sides of her face, strands shimmered that I had never noticed before. Her sweet breath was against my lips as she apologized and I craned my neck to steal a kiss. **

**My eyes shut as her lips closed the distance between us. A branch cracked to the right, twenty yards off in the distance. I froze, again stilling my breath. There was a familiar thump followed by a whoosh as blood rushed through veins. My eyes opened to Bella watching me with intensity and curiosity. A quick nod let her know I had heard it, too.**

**Based on the expression, this was fair game. No warnings. She silently moved off me and in a fraction of a second I was standing beside her, eyes narrowed in the direction of the snap. The venom ran through my mouth as the scent filled my nose. Another twig snapped when the animal bit through bark, the chewy break resonating in my ears as it ground through it. **

**My muscles coiled, back arched, and I crouched low, stealthing my way through the trees. The smell of blood, sweet and metallic, mixed with juniper and moss and dirt, clung to the air. The throbbing of the deer's heart grew louder and my nostrils twitched. I lunged before it noticed I was near and my teeth slid through the soft flesh effortlessly. My mouth was coated in the viscous liquid, salty and sweet, warm and rich. **

**I moaned quietly as I drew more into my mouth, holding the animals legs still as I swallowed greedily. The fire in my throat was finally quieted to a glowing ember as its heart ceased the pulsing beneath my lips. Bella was watching from a close distance, a slight smile on her face. "There **_**has **_**to be something better out here." My eyes darted around and we both laughed when a squirrel ran past. "A little bigger, maybe?"**

"_Taste_

_I love the taste_

_I need its warm rush_

_Rush_

_I need the rush_

_To pulse through my veins"**_

I stared at Edward.

His controlled posture and speech. His strength and speed. I was completely blown away. I stayed a safe distance while he fed, I didn't want to push and end up having him turn on me. It wasn't uncommon. Especially when you turn yourself over to the hunt.

"Something bigger?" I smiled at the squirrel as it vanished up a tree. "We have to stay here a few days, Edward, until I can get you to the place I had intended for us to go."

I kept watching him. He stood with a grin on his face as if he had been doing this for decades, not just mere hours.

His lithe body had moved with precision and absolute confidence. He was made for this, so it seemed.

My tongue ran over the backs of my teeth. I needed to hunt, it had been too long. I eyed Edward one last time, tilted my head and drew in a deep breath. My words to him would have been inaudible and much too fast for a human to understand.

"Breathe." My eyes closed. I listened. "Which way." The wind blew very lightly around us. Three of them. Perfect. My eyes opened and I was off before he could say another word. I felt him beside me. I didn't even pause for the deer, I lunged. I didn't want to wait and I knew Edward needed more.

My eyes drifted shut as the warm liquid poured down my throat. Not near as sweet as Edward had been. My fingers tightened on the deer in front of me as I drained the creature.

I stood quickly, Edward had drained one and was working on the second. His eyes closed, a low moan ripped from his throat. It was almost sensual.

Something inside of me pinged. He was so beautiful. Graceful and agile.

I wanted him. Like a thousand burning suns. I wanted him.

"_It's been awhile, since I've seen the way the candles light your face_

_It's been awhile, but I can still remember just the way you taste"***_

**Gluttony was glorious. I hardly remembered the fire in my throat as it was reduced to a few flickers, twinges of thirst. The burning that prevailed now was the one I held deep inside for Bella, who was watching me with great interest. **

**I stood up and moved to her without a second passing. Her eyes were like faceted quartz, the lids heavy. She looked up at me, her expression filled with intent. The air moved and her lips crushed to mine. Her breath had sweetened, intensified from the hunt. **

**I lifted her to my waist and her legs locked around my hips. With everything I had in me, I held back what I could. And for the first time, Bella did not.**

**Her movements were swift, agile, determined. She made light work of lifting the shirt off my solid frame, her fingertips exploring the muscles along my shoulders and back. With impeccable balance and agility, I carried her back toward the house, silently wondering if we would make it that far.**

**The hunt had been neat, careful, lithe. This was no hunt. Desperation ran between us, clothing falling in a trail behind us as I quickly made my way through the trees along our previous path. Bella was totally uninhibited and there were no words for what she was doing to me. My entire body warmed beneath her touch. Her hips ground into mine, fingers twisting into my hair as she pulled deeper into the kiss. **

"_I can't live without you, set my goals around you_

_Takes a little extra time, but it all works out"****_

The idea of being able to touch and not hurt, was all consuming. I could do whatever I wanted. He was mine.

Unbreakable.

I couldn't believe his restraint, his composure. Part of me was waiting for the other shoe to drop. A snap.

It was like nothing had happened. We had simply picked up right where we left off and he was amazing.

His skin was warm and soft, his breath on my face drugged me, soothed every frayed nerve. I couldn't believe he still wanted me. That he was smiling at me. Kissing me. Holding me.

"_You're a shining ember, I'll be shining armor_

_Just look up into my eyes, I won't let you down_

_And I'll always be here, yes, I'll always be here"_

I pulled back from him as he stepped into the house, closing the door behind us. My fingers holding his face, eyes searching.

"I missed you. So much." I kissed his forehead . "I love you." My lips moved over his cheek. "I can't believe you are so," I studied his features, "collected."

"_Why don't we play hooky?_

_We could both get lucky_

_Better to get lucky than to go to work today"_

"You shouldn't be so, normal." My hands rested on the sides of his neck. My lips moved quickly back to his. Like a magnet. I couldn't keep myself from him if I tried.

_You don't have to try anymore. _

My eyes opened wide, I spoke into his lips, "Oh my god. You're like me."

_Wow, Bella, you catch on fast. Smart girl. _

His smile was lazy. "It's, wow." I climbed out of his arms and tugged him upstairs and into the bathroom, I flipped the light on and smiled up at him.

"Look." I moved him to face the mirror. He was beyond breathtaking. He was stunning.

"_And we'll always be near, we should always be near_

_Don't you know you're the one for me_

_After all, anyone can see"_

**The bathroom mirror was about the last place on earth I wanted to be, but I humored Bella and looked. I blinked twice, trying to focus on the image laid out in front of me.**

"**Huh," I muttered, "No more shaving, I guess?" My hand moved along my jawline, the skin there smooth and firm. "It's like botox on crack." The hair on my head was still wild and I wondered if I would forever look disheveled while my fingers instinctively ran through it.**

**What I **_**wanted **_**to look at was Bella. My wife. My beautiful, amazing wife. "It was torture not being able to see your face for days." Our lips met again. "Worse than the change." Her teeth came out, taking my bottom lip between them as she hummed contentedly. The sensation sent a ripple of eagerness through my core and I lifted her effortlessly. **

"**Let's try this again." I smiled, referencing our first and last night as our former selves. I cocked a brow, moving toward the bed. "You game?" **

XoX**  
><strong>

I nodded eagerly.

_Like a fucking puppy, Bella. Chill out._

I couldn't help the excitement. It was all new again. And I didn't have to hold back, and I didn't have to be careful. But I did need to be aware of Edward and his strength.

He could rip me to pieces at this point and I wouldn't have cared. I just wanted him to touch me.

He placed me on the bed, smiling down at me with dark eyes. I felt a shiver move up my spine and through my arms.

_Touch me. Touch me._

I shrugged quickly out of the t-shirt I wore, tossing it aside as I wiggled out of the soft cotton pants I had been wearing.

I climbed up on my knees, my arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him into me.

"Touch me, Edward." Our lips hovered, almost touching. "Because if you don't, I'm going to go crazy."

XoX

* * *

><p>*The Toadies - Away<p>

** Dashboard Confessional - The Rush

*** Staind - It's Been A While

**** Gavin DeGrw - Let It Go


	3. Chapter 3

**The days blended together, morning became evening and the cycle would start all over again. Not sleeping allowed for one of my new favorite things: midnight snacks. A far second to my other favorite thing: Bella.**

**We spent the days together, exploring every new sensation, mesmerized by the touch and taste of all she was and is and will always be. And all I would always be. I would never tire of this, I was sure. The way our bodies connected, it was like we were from a single mold, divided and left to feel incomplete until we were one.**

**Lazily tracing the light that hit the edge of her skin one afternoon, an unfamiliar sound echoed in the room. It took me a minute to decipher it and then realized it was the doorbell. I looked to Bella, knowing it was unwise for me to answer the door no matter **_**who **_**it was.**

"**They'll go away," I murmured against her shoulder, kissing the hollow beside her collar bone. **

~xox~

I struggled to sit up.

"Let me get it. If it was Charlie, he would have called first. It might be important. Stay here." I jumped from the bed, tossing a shirt and some sweats on, clawing my fingers through the messy nest of my hair and wrapping a rubber band around it.

"Don't leave the room. I promise, it will be fast." His eyes flashed once, nerves? "You can do this. It will be fine. I promise." I leaned into him and kissed his cheek. "I will be right back." I closed the bedroom door behind me and made a mad dash for the door.

The delivery man handed me a sealed envelope and asked for a signature. I smiled once and thanked him before closing the door and locking it. I flipped the envelope over carefully, opening it. I peered inside at the forms and letters. Oh! yes. Name change. Well, that can wait until later.

I tossed the envelope aside and made my way back up to the bedroom. To my husband. I sighed again, my idiot smile written all over my face.

I opened the door to the room. It took me a moment to register the look on Edward's face. Anger?

Was he angry that I left him? I stood absolutely still. I made no attempt at moving closer to him.

"What happened?" I wasn't about to ask if he was okay, because, it was clear as day that he was _not _okay. But what the hell had happened in the span of two minutes?

~xox~

**My fingers twitched, wanting to grasp her shirt and pull her back on top of me. And I could have, too. It wasn't for lack of strength or ability. And she probably wouldn't have even minded. But, she wanted to get the door and I wanted to get her back to where we were.**

**I closed my eyes and listened, my senses strengthened by the sight deprivation. Bella running down the stairs. I smiled as I heard her jump down the last three in a single step, the balls of her feet barely touching the floor beneath. **

**The door creaked open and I could smell the leaves, wet and musty, outside. Autumn. **

**A voice. A man. Collecting her signature. The stylus hit the screen with a click. Then, he spoke again, his voice low and breathless. "Nice tits." **

**The air sucked into my lungs sharply. I waited, listening to the cadence of his heartbeat, expecting it to suddenly cease with a rip to the throat. But, all I heard was Bella's polite thanks and the door closing behind her. **

_**She thought that was a compliment?**_

**I snarled, obeying my promise to stay in bed. **

_**Why hadn't she said something? Why didn't she attack his ass? She thanked him?**_

"**Why is that asshole still breathing?" I scowled.**

~xox~

I frowned. Completely shaken and confused.

"What do you mean? Why.." I took a step back and stood in the middle of the doorway. Not wanting to provoke him.

"_Hold on,_

_Hold on to yourself_

_For this is gonna hurt like hell"*_

"I am completely at a loss. I don't understand." I watched his jaw tick. I squared my shoulders. "If you don't explain to me what happened, then I can't fix it."

~xox~

"**When exactly did it become socially acceptable for a man to say you have, 'nice tits?'" **

**I barely got the words out, the anger boiling below the surface of my skin. I shook from anger, every muscle tensing. Venom pooled in my mouth and I began to calculate the distance at which his van was traveling and how to attack from the west where he would not expect it.**

~xox~

My eyebrows shot up across my forehead.

"What are you talking about? Who? Who said that? When?" His entire body vibrated. I could feel the tension rolling off of him in waves.

I was so lost. He went from fine, to absolutely climbing the walls with anger in the span of two minutes. Maybe I should have let Charlie stay for a few days. But things had been so good. He was aware of himself and the situations around him. He was careful and ... and now he wasn't and I didn't know what to do.

I wasn't about to touch him. Or move from the spot I was in. I wasn't sure what the hell had happened, but it was throwing me completely off my game. I schooled my features quickly, calm. Whatever had happened had nothing to do with me. I didn't do anything.

"_My love_

_You know that you're my best friend_

_You know I'd do anything for you_

_My love_

_Let nothing come between us_

_My love for you is strong and true"_

~xox~

"**The delivery guy, Bella. Don't tell me you didn't **_**hear **_**that because I am at least fifty feet away and I heard every vile thought - " I stopped abruptly, processing the information.**

"**Every..." I mouthed silently, my eyes wide. "Thought." **

"**His voice. It changed. Not because his voice changed but because..." The connections made perfect sense with the clarity of my accelerated thought process. "Because I heard his **_**thoughts." **_

**My eyes shot to Bella, still standing near the doorway looking about as terrified as a vampire can look. "Oh god, I'm so sorry." The realization sank in and my stomach churned with remorse. I stood to move toward her, pulling her into my chest. **

"**I'm sorry," I murmured against her hair, still clutching her in my arms. "I thought..." My head shook slowly. "I don't know what I thought. But, his thoughts. He was so... And you're so... SO beautiful. And I can't..." I held her tighter, being careful not to crush her too tightly.**

"**Holy shit. I can **_**hear **_**thoughts?" Bella's face turned up to face mine and I placed my hands on her cheeks. "But not yours?" I furrowed my brow as I tried, to no avail. **

"**Maybe it's just... humans?"**

~xox~

I stood still in his arms. Silent and listening.

"You, heard," I tilted my face up to his. "what he was thinking?" I digested this bit of information for a few seconds.

"He said that?" My nose scrunched for a quick moment. "No. Scratch that, he _thought_ that?"

This was all so strange to me. I was processing and computing thoughts and, wow.

"If you're right, I am so jealous." A small smile crept along my lips and then faded. If he could read thoughts, if he could hear people, what would the repercussions be? Would he constantly be up and down with his emotions?

"Maybe we could invite Charlie over. He might be able to offer some sort of, I don't know, help? Ideas? You can't just go waltzing into a crowd of people right now." I thought about that. Hearing not only everything on the outside, but everything on the inside as well.

Maybe I wasn't jealous.

~xox~

"**He was right," I grinned. "But nobody thinks that about **_**my **_**wife but me." I kissed her possessively, as if I was marking my territory. **

_**She's already yours. Calm down. The only thing she would want from that guy was his blood.**_

**I smiled on her lips at the thought. "Don't be jealous. We don't even know how this thing works. Or **_**if **_**this thing works," I clarified. **

"**Charlie is more than welcome any time, Bella. He's family." My arms wrapped around her shoulders, trying to make up for my temper tantrum with gentle strokes down her arms. **

~xox~

"Trust me, no one has ever spoken to me like that before. Thoughts, I can't control." Smiling, I stood on my toes and brushed my lips over his chin. "No more beard. Just soft." I grinned.

I stepped back for a minute, glancing around the open space. Stealing memories and making new ones.

"I love this room. I think it's my favorite place."

"I need to make some final arrangements to get us out of here though. Soon." I laid my palm flat at his chest and walked him backward to the couch, he fell gracefully into the leather and I curled up in his lap. I grabbed a blanket, even though we didn't need it, and wrapped it around us.

"But first, I just want to be here with you." I twisted slightly to see his face. "I love this couch. I love that it smells like you. I love that you slept here for me. The first time I allowed myself to get close to you was while you were sleeping here. Please don't ever get rid of this couch."

"_Let's sail away_

_Find our own country_

_We'll build a house and beds out of palm trees_

_Let's get away_

_Let's push our lives aside_

_I'll sport a smile, take in some color_

_Under the stars I'll be your lover_

_With no distractions, I'm gonna treat you right"**_

~xox~

**Out of habit, I pulled the blanket around Bella's shoulders. I smiled at the memory of always trying to warm her chilled skin. "I wouldn't dream of it," I answered honestly. "This whole house," my mind flashed through the hazy images of the hot tub, a candle-lit living room with a guitar and an engagement ring, countless hours smoking on the deck with Bella on my lap or leaning against my side, "is ours. Forever. Our memories, our future, our lives. And I could never get rid of this couch," I grinned.**

**Her delicate fingers traced the lines on my forearm, the color in the tattoo as vibrant as it had been the day it was created. **

"**Now, why such a hurry to get **_**out **_**of here? What's the urgency?" Thirst trickled through my throat, a slow burn rising up. I swallowed against it in vain and she saw. **

_**Busted.**_

~xox~

I laughed quietly.

"That's why." I ran a finger over the front of his throat.

"I promised you that I would look out for you and help you. No matter what. So that is what I am going to do. I am going to take you away for a while. Well, I mean, I want you to come with me." I smiled sheepishly. "Would you come with me? I have something I want to show you anyway." I shook my head. I was always wanting to show him something. "I promise, this is something you will really like." I sat up quickly, twisting to face him, pulling the blanket over our heads. I whispered almost silently, "Love you." I kissed him gently and jumped back off the couch. "Now. Lets eat. You still owe me a dinner date." I smirked at the memory.

* * *

><p>* Sarah McLachlan - Hold On<p>

** The Starting Line - Island


	4. Chapter 4

**The pile on the bed was growing by the minute. It was difficult to pack when you had no idea where you were going and didn't need clothing appropriate for any particular temperature. Not needing coats, let alone sleepwear, threw my packing efforts into a tailspin.**

**I walked to the bathroom door, leaning against the frame out of habit. "Bella, it would really help to know **_**where**_** we're going," I smiled slightly at the sight of her standing in our bathroom. The foggy thoughts of her there, wet from the shower on our wedding day, flashed through my mind. **

**She stepped toward me, her fingers moving through my hair briefly as if to say, "nice try." With a small kiss against my cheek, she breezed past, stopping short when she caught sight of the bed. **

"**I... may have over-packed," I admitted sheepishly. "At least tell me how **_**long **_**we're going to be there." Her laughter spilled out, the melody filling the room. All I could do was laugh with her.**

xOx

I took in the massive amount of clothing on the bed and could do nothing but laugh. It made me think of the first day we spent together, doing laundry.

"Well, that is certainly a lot of clothing, Edward. You could clothe a small army." I smiled up at him, and then realized he may not like my answer when it came to the, how long, portion of his questioning.

"We are going to be gone for a while." He stared at me. Obviously searching for something more definite. "A year, or more. Depending on how things go. We may not be back here for a long time." I kept my eyes on his. "If you do well, and are able to be around people, we might come back in a few months, a year. But we won't be able to stay, Edward. Too many people know Charlie and myself. And you." I felt like I was always taking from him and never giving. It hurt.

"When we leave here, for good, we won't be back for a very long time. We can maybe sneak over here, once in a while, but no one can know. Not Casanova, not Ang, not anyone. They will see the change in you, and the non-change." "If we do come back in the next year, yes, people would notice you're, different, but hopefully by that time, you'll be more comfortable acting, um, human. You know, like blinking. Which you haven't done in over an hour." I smirked as he forced his eyes to move.

"It's perfectly natural for you not to blink. It's who you are now. To stand stone still. Not to breathe. But you have to re-learn these things." He smiled my favorite crooked smile and everything inside of me flipped over.

"I'll help you. I will show you how it used to be. So you will seem, normal to outsiders."

All of his little quirks that were missing came flooding back to me. "Like, I guess you can just tell everyone you quit smoking. That wouldn't be hard to cover up. People quit all the time. But there are other things, little things."

I sat carefully on the end of the bed, fearful of the avalanche of shirts, shorts and pants that may swallow me up if I jostled it the wrong way. "You can bring whatever you like. Clothing wise. Lots of sweatshirts and jackets. Especially when we work up to the introduction of people. You want to look like them." His eyebrow shot up curiously. "And that, Superman, is all you are getting out of me." My smile was wide.

"_You're cinematic razor sharp_

_A welcome arrow through the heart_

_Under your skin feels like home_

_Electric shocks on aching bones"*_

**It was a good thing I had blind faith in Bella because she wasn't giving me much to work with. I knew that the friendships we'd made here would likely go by the wayside. People, friends, outgrow each other over time. Lose touch. Especially when you relocate.**

"**Okay, so we're talking long haul," I said, blinking too quickly. I shook my head in frustration. "I **_**just **_**knew how to do this stuff. It's so weird to have to re-learn faking things that are done without thought."**

**While all I ever truly needed in this existence was Bella, I found myself evaluating sentimental items that I'd want to pack. I surveyed the room. Electronics went in first, ipod, laptop, dock. Cell chargers made me smile at the memory of Bella's dead phone our first night in this house. **

_**The first night.**_

**My eyes wandered to the Superman shirt she had drowned in that night. I tossed it in and was rewarded by an approving smile from Bella. The hoodies she wore on the deck went in next, all her favorites. Some old concert tees. I wondered how much longer I'd be able to wear them. You can't exactly walk around in a Blue October shirt fifty years in the future. It's not like the Stones. I made a mental note to have them made into a blanket one day. Something just for **_**us. **_

"**What would happen," I thought aloud. "I mean, cigarettes? What... Everything else is stronger. My senses are heightened. What would smoking be like?" **

**I was a little reluctant to give up this vice. It was clearly a psychological addiction and my mind hadn't changed. In fact, my mind was stronger than ever. So, that urge was stronger than ever. I grabbed her hand and blew down the stairs to the deck. Stepping onto the wood barefoot, I noticed the way the soft pulp compressed beneath my feet. **

**Bella took her position on my lap, another hazy flashback in my head from our engagement night. I was glad it was so recent, these memories of Bella, our wedding day. The memories of Grams and my parents were very far off. The fog overpowering the sights and sounds. But, Bella, if I tried. I mean really focused. I could see her. I remembered her. The way she smelled, the way it felt to have her curled against my chest, where we were and what we were doing.**

**She pulled a cigarette out of my pack and apprehensively placed it between my lips. The trace of venom on my inner lips began to dissolve the paper that covered the filter. I smirked. "Cigarettes can't kill me anymore, but apparently I can kill them." She laughed, flicking the flame high on the lighter, touching it to the end.**

**I smelled the paper burn first, then the tobacco. The smell stung my nose and I found myself holding my breath. I pulled air through the length of the cigarette, my mouth filling with smoke. When I finally sucked it into my lungs, I was surprised to find that absolutely nothing had changed. I could taste particles against my tongue, I could smell it acutely - every hint of fiber and moss and musty tobacco. But, like air, it moved through my lungs with neither a sense of necessity nor the feeling of satisfaction. The movements were comforting though, a tiny piece of who I was before. **

**In the weeks to come, I decided, I would hang onto the last couple packs. They wouldn't have any kind of physical effect on me, but maybe the last thread connecting me to my former self would help on days that the transition was a struggle.**

"**Interesting," I muttered. "It's like - it's like hunting animals. Kind of like drinking water when you're hungry," I tried to explain with human rationale. "When you **_**really **_**want something to chew, but all you have is something to drink. When you **_**really **_**want some**_**one's **_**blood and settle for some**_**thing's." **_**Bella got that analogy. **

**xOx**

The familiar scent of tobacco mixed with Edward was a welcoming comfort to me. Curled up in his lap on the deck, where we shared so many days together. I wondered how much he remembered. And how clearly he remembered. I looked back on my human days and certain things stood out, still in a fog, but I could remember, if I tried. I shifted to face him, straddling his lap. "Edward, how much do you remember?" I tilted my face, searching his eyes. My hands fluttered up toward his face, skimming the sides of his neck as they moved. I rested my palms over the contours of his jaw. Asking silently for a moment. He nodded and this time, his dark eyes stayed open to mine. I moved my hands up slightly and shared with him.

Edward leaning against the kitchen counter, eating a hot pocket, days worth of growth on his jaw and chin. Drinking beer outside the bar, a cigarette being tossed into a small puddle.

Morning coffee and awe stuck face in the hot tub, his eyes growing dark as he moved in on me.

Edward talking about his grandpa and candies in his sweater pocket. Speaking lovingly of his Grams.

Him, pulling his fingers through his crazy hair. A lot.

I paused, and his eyes came back into focus along with a smile on his lips. "I want you to know, that I remember a lot of things. And if _you_ ever need help remembering, I will do that for you. I feel like I have taken so much from you, and hardly given anything in return."

With my hands still firmly on his face, I leaned forward, breathing him in, my lips parted over his achingly slow.

I couldn't get enough. I couldn't ever quit him. He was my favorite drug.

xOx

**Having Bella's particular talent at my, or her, fingertips eased the transition from one life to the next. As my memories dimmed beneath the haze of my new life, her recordings seemed more crisp and vibrant. I was seeing her memories through a vampire mind's precision as if everything came acutely into focus. A microscope held over each and every detail. **

"**I remember things, too," I said quietly. "Just... not... with that kind of... clarity." My eyes narrowed slightly as I tried to pinpoint a time in my human life with Bella, attempting to bring it to the front of my mind unsuccessfully. **

**A wave of sweet spice blew across my lips as her mouth touched mine. "But you've gotten something very wrong," I murmured. "You have... given... me..." I punctuated each word by brushing my lips against hers. "Everything. Everything I ever wanted and never knew I needed."**

**We sat with the cold mist on our face for some time, both memorizing the way the air felt against our skin, the scent of water and boat exhaust and pine trees hung in the air. Although I wasn't sure where we were going, I had a feeling we wouldn't be back for a while. With new eyes, I took in everything laid out before me with new appreciation, prepared for whatever may lie ahead.**

"_I give to you my everything_

_You've given me these loving wings_

_The angels have all gathered 'round_

_To hear me sing my love out loud_

_So take your place here next to me_

_I'll take my place there next to thee_

_No matter how far we may roam_

_It's by your side I make my home**"_

* * *

><p><em>*You're All I Have - Snow Patrol<em>

_**Loving Wings - Dave Matthews Band_


	5. Chapter 5

"_It's always summer, they'll never get cold_

_They'll never get hungry, they'll never get old and gray_

_You can see their shadows wandering off somewhere_

_They won't make it home but they really don't care_

_They wanted the highway, they're happier there today."_

_-The Way- Fastball_

_~xOx~_

After two days of gluttony, paying close attention to Edward and his feeding, we were on a chartered jet to Alaska.

I made certain that we stayed to the back of the small aircraft. Not that it mattered. You could smell the pilot over the new leather scent. Hear the rhythmic thumping of his pulse over the quiet jet noise. I sat silently on Edward's lap. The flight wouldn't be too long. The sky was black outside the small windows. He still didn't know where we were going. I had given specific instructions for the pilot not to say anything about our destination. I really wanted to surprise Edward with everything inside me.

He sat almost stone still, not breathing the entire time we were in the small jet. His arms wrapped tightly around my waist. Every once in a while his jaw would tick. We were sharing my earbuds and listening to music when I felt the pressure change in the cabin. Edward raised a brow and looked down at me. "Almost there." I beamed. So proud of him. As I was smiling, his lips twitched and his eyes widened in what looked like surprise.

~xOx~

**Bella's reassurances did little to calm my nerves. Although my hand no longer shook, my heart no longer raced, the flutter of anxiety rose from somewhere deep inside. I think I smoked an entire pack of cigarettes in the car ride to Renton. **

**Her plans were thorough, I had to give her that. After days of feeding, I felt as if I might burst. With careful instructions, we crossed the tarmac of the small municipal airport. Bella's hand twisted around mine and I realized I had been clenching my fists. Silently, I hoped it would be written off as flying nerves. She offered a reassuring nod as my fingers entwined through hers.**

"**No breathing." I asked and answered. We traveled light and I pulled the luggage like a proper gentleman would. As she we approached the small set of stairs to the single engine plane marked with the AirO logo, I extended my hand as if to help her onto the first step.**

_**This is a part you know how to play. Human. Easy.**_

_**Human.**_

**The quiet thump made my ears ring and mouth water. Panic flashed through my eyes.**

_**Busted. She saw that.**_

**She leaned in from the top step, kissing my cheek as she whispered low, "no breathing." I nodded and took an instinctive deep breath in preparation before heading up the stairs myself. **

**Bella chose the seat furthest from the cockpit, though it really didn't matter. The seats were few and far between, configured more like club chairs than airplane seats. I sat in the chair facing the back of the plane, hoping my direction would help. It didn't.**

**Thump. Whoosh. **

**Thump. Whoosh.**

**Air moving through lungs. **

**Thump. Whoosh.**

**Thump. Whoosh.**

**I counted the pulses to pass the time, finding their rhythm in each song on the ipod. Bella sat on my lap, offering my mind a healthy dose of distraction as she shifted and her small fingers ran through my hair. **

**Thump. Whoosh.**

**My astute vampire senses came in handy when I overheard a voice from the traffic control tower come through over the radio. "Healy River, Hangar 4."**

_**Alaska?**_

**My eyes raised to hers and the question spilled out without thought.**

~xOx~

Stepping out of the tiny jet into the freezing night air was such a welcome feeling. I never thought I would be happy to back in Alaska. I had shrugged quickly into a chocolate brown parka, pulling the hood up, the fake fur tickling at my cheeks as I zipped the coat. I turned to look at Edward as he adjusted the hood of his sweatshirt, covering the mess of hair on his head. He laughed. Hard.

I shrugged and grinned."What? You don't like my Alaska wear?" I snickered. His eyes were sparkling with humor.

"A girl has to keep warm out here in the wilds. You know, all the snow and cold. Brrrrrr." I winked as I grabbed his hand and walked purposefully across the dark sidewalk. We bypassed the airport terminal and walked through a small gate into a parking lot with a spattering of vehicles.

The street lamps cast a dull yellow light across the concrete. I dug quickly in the pocket of my jacket and pulled out my car keys.

Charlie had come out a few days ago to check on my place and get my car to the airport for us so that we wouldn't have to rent one. I should text him soon.

I hit the unlock button on the key-chain and the Jeep blinked at me one row over. I sighed quietly. I had missed my newer vehicle. I bought it last year brand new when my other Jeep had finally bitten the dust.

I opened the rear hatch and was hit with the faint scent of Charlie and clean car. The wind whipped by suddenly and Edward tossed the bag in the car as I flicked the hatch shut with a finger. "You know," I said to him quietly as we both climbed into the vehicle. "you're going to have to wear a bigger jacket at some point." I slipped the key into the ignition, the dash lit up blue. "Maybe something a little, lumberjack-ish?" I stifled a laugh. "Or maybe, you can just borrow mine? I think you'd look good in fake fur."

And speaking of, this thing had to go. I twisted and unzipped and maneuvered the unneeded layer from my body and threw it into the backseat. "You ready to go home, Superman?"

I was so ready to get him home. My home, which I hoped he liked enough to call his own.

I put the car in reverse and we were quickly on our way through the dark and trees.

~xOx~

**The exit door to the plane could not have opened fast enough. I was desperate to get out of there. Fighting to maintain my human mannerisms, I moved through the doorway and sucked a deep, cleansing breath into my stagnant lungs.**

**For the first time in my new life, the air felt stiflingly cold. Bella's ridiculous coat seemed a little less ridiculous as I pulled my hood up. As she walked her massive mane blew in the wind, making her look like a lion. I laughed and lifted the suitcases.**

**It was obvious she knew the area. She moved with conviction toward the parking lot and I looked around trying to find the oldest clunker. Much to my surprise, the lights on a dark Grand Cherokee blipped. **

**Bella smiled as we got into the car, her eyes lit with excitement. "Lumberjack," I questioned with a cocked brow. "Like, quilted flannel?" I laughed and her shoulders settled back a bit. She was more at ease here. I got the feeling this was more her home than Forks.**

"**You aren't going to blindfold and gag me and throw me in the back with the lion coat are you?" I eyed her suspiciously, then cracked a crooked grin. **

**My hand slid to her thigh as she drove through the trees. "Absolutely ready," I confirmed with a squeeze. She turned down an unpaved road and turned on the four wheel drive. I flinched occasionally as a tree would seem to be heading straight for the windshield. Bella navigated the road like she didn't need vision to hug the curves. She looked like she was taking a drive down the Pacific Coast Highway on a Sunday afternoon. **

**Abruptly, the trees stopped and opened into a large clearing. My eyes took it all in, detail by detail. "This... is yours?"**

* * *

><p>*Fastball - The Way<strong><br>**


	6. Chapter 6

"_When my blood runs warm with the warm red wine, I missed the life that I left behind. _

_And when I hear the sound of the black bird's cry, I know I left in the nick of time. _

_Well this road I'm on is gonna turn to sand, and leave me lost in a far off land. _

_So let me ride the wind till I don't look back, and forget the life that I almost had. _

_If I wander till I die may I know whose hand I'm in. _

_If my home I'll never find. And let me live again. _

_The longer I run then the less that I find_

_Selling my soul for a nickel and dime_

_Breakin' my heart to keep singing these rhymes, losing again. _

_Tell my brother please not to look for me. I ain't the man that I used to be. _

_Cause if my savior comes could you let him know. I've gone away forward to save my soul*"_

* * *

><p>I smiled brightly when I saw the walls of glass come into view. The flat angled roof, the trees and the wood porch.<p>

I nodded at Edward. "No. This _was_ mine, now it's ours." I stopped the vehicle and pulled the keys from the ignition.

We both exited and closed the doors quietly. I breathed in deeply. The trees were rustling in the wind. Pine assaulted my nose along with musty earth. It was peaceful here, and far from people. Edward and I wouldn't be bothered, until the moving crates arrived Washington. After that, we could just relax and enjoy being here. Slowing bringing Edward back into the so-called real world with humans.

I pushed the front door open and stepped inside. My fingers twisted into his like knots. I quickly flipped a switch and warm recessed light flooded the room.

"It isn't big." I warned quietly. "It was always just me here. I hope though, that this will be comfy for you." I smiled up at Edward. His eyes moved slowly and carefully over the entry. I was a little nervous that he wouldn't feel at home. The hard wood floors were immaculate. And the same wood made up the interior walls and ceiling. A light blond color. I loved it. It always felt warm and sunny at the same time. The outer walls were all glass with special blinds that came down to cover and block out the world.

I let him wander the small space.

I wasn't joking when I told him it wasn't large. There was a small living room with a leather couch and chair, a flat screen that I knew he would appreciate, hung above the small rock fireplace. The living space opened to a long kitchen with a dining table that sat against one of the floor to ceiling glass walls. His finger tips dragged lazily over the table top, as he looked back at me with a small smile.

"Come on." I smiled and nodded my head for him to follow. We walked down a short hall off the living space and I showed him the spa type bathroom. There was a large claw foot tub. I fell in love with it when I saw it in a magazine and ordered it right away. The floor in the bathroom was a dark smokey slate tile that warmed with a switch on the wall. The shower was a large walk-in with two shower heads and a wooden bench. What can I say? I love my bath time.

His smile was enough to set my insides on fire. He was being so quiet. Taking it all in.

"Of course, everything will feel more like home when your things are delivered. But I have two stereos. One in the living room and one in the bedroom." I hooked my fingers into the pocket at the front of his sweatshirt and pulled him down to the last door. I flipped a light on and the room glowed to life.

It was sparse. A lot of my things were coming over with Edward's from the other house.

There was a king size bed, low to the floor with a bright white feather comforter and two large pillows. On either side of the bed, built into the wall were tall shelves littered with books, cd's and framed photos. The wall at the foot of the bed held another flat screen wired to satellite. The walk-in closet housed built in shelves, drawers and a bunch of my clothes were already hanging from one side, waiting for my return.

The only item that caught my attention, was a red plaid flanneled jacket, draped haphazardly over the arm of an over-sized chair in the far corner of the room.

_What the hell?_

Not wanting to provoke any sort of attention to the out of place item, I sat quietly on the end of my bed and watched him breath in the scents of his new home.

"Well, this is it." I smiled up at him.

~xOx~

**The sound of air pulling into Bella's lungs gave my own permission to follow suit. Having been apprehensive around those with beating hearts, I hadn't realized that mine were still empty. **

_I've been waiting up for you to rescue me_

_To come around and cover everything_

_Relying on my best memories_

_To breathe for me, breathe for me..._

**Instinctively I breathed in, my eyes falling closed as the cold air sucked into my still chest. The scent of evergreen was so thick in the air I could taste Christmas on my tongue. With reckless abandon I quickly exhaled, desperate to taste it again. The faint taste memory of gin and tonics passed across my palate, followed by the icy blast of wintergreen and the sweet scent of pine. **

**And Bella. **

**My fingers found hers, tangling between them as we moved toward the warm glow of her cabin. I breathed her in, focusing on every aspect of the familiar scent. Apples. Cinnamon. Like cider and autumn. But, now there was something more. Something I hadn't noticed before. Inhaling deeply, I tried to place it. Apple pie? Caramel apples? **

**There was nothing quite right, yet it had been there all along, embedded in my subconscious. A quiet need that could never be met. As if I had craved this one perfect thing for my entire life and was tasting it for the first time. **

_And I can still smell summer on your skin_

_And I can still remember giving in_

_Wrapped all up in your hips, and in your sheets**_

**The cabin cast light all around, stopping at the tree line that surrounded it. Blackness in the distance concealed scurrying animals and the loud thud of a large mammal. The environment was perfect for someone of her kind... of **_**our **_**kind. **

**I was so focused on the sounds of the forest, I hadn't noticed that she had opened the door. **

_**Damn. I should have carried her over the threshold. Way to miss that opportunity listening to a squirrel crack acorns, Masen. **_

**The cabin was warm, not just in temperature. There was nothing distinctly feminine about it. The smell of leather and cedar grew stronger as we walked in. I closed the door behind us and slid off my boots, leaving them to defrost on a mat. The fireplace hadn't been used, possibly ever. **

_**We're going to change that. **_

**Fire was no longer something bad for Bella. It had transformed into a memory of positive things for us both, from candles surrounding us on her birthday to the fire pit outside near the hot tub. The smell of charring fire wood and sap popping had been reclaimed as our own.**

**She was proud of her space, it showed deep in her eyes even before she smiled. I let her lead me through a hallway into the bathroom, grinning widely as she opened the door.**

_**Oh yeah. A huge tub. This is going to be... two shower heads? **_

**My brows furrowed and I quickly righted them before she noticed. Luckily she was anxious to show off the rest of the house, having saved the bedroom for last. The corner of my mouth pulled back into a crooked smile as we walked in and I caught a glimpse of the bed. **

**Still a newlywed for all intents and purposes, coupled with superhero senses, it didn't take much. She sat on the edge of the bed, her porcelain skin lit from a bedside lamp. I moved toward her, like an animal stalking its prey, when something caught my eye.**

_**Red flannel?**_

**My eyes narrowed as I clenched my jaw, asking a question I hoped I already knew the answer to.**

"**Charlie's?"**

* * *

><p><em>*Peter Bradley Adams - Longer I Run<em>

_**Matt Nathanson - Sad Songs_


	7. Chapter 7

"_Sometimes I take so much for granted,_

_It's easy to do._

_All that I want is to stand hand in hand with you._

_Looking in your eyes time passes by as fast as it can go_

_We could be moving real slow to the radio_

_With all the lights on low_

_I know this little place baby, not far away... maybe we can go_

_No one has to know." _*

* * *

><p>I turned quickly back to look at the jacket again. I tilted my head, allowing my curiosity to show. Turning back to Edward, I watched his jaw tick and his fingers twitch at his sides. Hoping to alleviate any anxious feelings, I answered quickly.<p>

"Must be. He probably left it here when he came to check on things and to get the car for us."

I smiled up at him, reaching slowly with one hand toward his now still fingers. I tugged gently, pulling him closer to where I sat. Leaning in, I rested my cheek on his stomach and wrapped my arms around his waist.

It was so different to hear silence when my ear pressed against him. I wondered if I would ever get used to it. I felt his fingers pull gently through my hair, could sense the smile that was moving across his lips before I even looked.

Letting go of him, I moved over slightly and then pulled him down to lay next to me, our legs hanging off the side of the bed. I turned my face toward his, everything around us seemed to float away, like we were in our little bubble, moving quietly in our own little universe. Twisting our fingers together, I rested for a moment. Reveling in the beauty of us. Everything we had gone through to get here. Saying a silent prayer for love found and not lost.

I whispered, "You know, I almost let you go." I closed my eyes briefly. "When we first met. I wanted nothing more than to have you. I felt completely out of control and selfish. I figured, it would be best for me to let you go. Not to interrupt your life. But I couldn't help myself." I rolled to my side, propping myself up on an elbow looking down into his beautiful dark eyes. "I'm glad. That I couldn't help myself. I don't know how I did this for so long without you, Edward. Thank you for believing in me. In us." I kissed his forehead gently and laid back down.

"But, honestly, what do you think, of everything?" I turned my face back to his and smiled again.

~xOx~

**My head nodded once in acknowledgement of her explanation. As her hands slid around me it was as if she severed the tightly wound strings that had been holding me rigid. Her hair spilled out on the bed beside me, incapacitating me with her essence. **

**She knew my weakness. She could play me like my Dad's old Gibson. And I didn't mind a bit. When her face was in front of mine, the rest of the room disappeared. Her once otherworldly golden eyes met mine. What I had once seen as flecks of gold were now a vault of pewter, copper, amber, and jade. Each fragment reflected the soft light around us, glimmering in the darkness that surrounded them. **

"_Yours is the first face that I saw_

_I think I was blind before I met you_

_Now I don't know where I am _

_I don't know where I've been_

_But I know where I want to go**"_

**When she spoke, they were locked with mine. No movement at all as she talked about her will to leave. Desperation spread through my chest. Desperation and fear. I wanted to reach for her, plead for her not to leave, gripping her tightly to me. When her eyes opened again, the light was back. The glint of precious metals seemed to dance again.**

_**Red flannel. **_

"**I'm glad, too." I managed, my head spinning with a thousand thoughts. "I mean..."**

_**Charlie never wears red. He hates red. **_

_**Snap out of it. She's pouring her heart out and you say you're glad?**_

**I touched her jawline with my thumb, drawing it up from her chin toward her ear as I spoke. "I never want to think about a life without you in it." Red flashed in my peripheral vision, like a warning beacon. I pretended to look around the room, as if I hadn't noticed every knot in the planks of wood when we entered, just to steal another look.**

**I inhaled deeply, searching for any trace of Charlie. "Cedar," I muttered with a slight nod. No hint of Charlie, that I could tell. But, maybe he smelled different, too. **

_**You know this scent. What is it?**_

**I racked my brain for the correlation, like the word that escapes your mind but lingers on the tip of your tongue. "It's great," I finally replied, not wanting to let on that my mind was elsewhere. "Your eyes," I said with a frown, "they're dark. Why don't you show me the palatial grounds you've got up here. No penguins, I take it?"**

**~xOx~  
><strong>

I bit down on my lip and sat up.

"No. No penguins." I smiled briefly and stood from the bed. "Come on, lets go find a bear to play with." I winked as I walked out of the bedroom.

My head was spinning. Something was completely off with Edward. He definitely wasn't here with me. His eyes kept shifting around the room, his answers were vague and short. Was he angry? I couldn't tell. His features were harder to read these days. How frustrating.

I wanted to stomp my feet and throw a little tantrum, but I couldn't. And honestly, I was getting a little old for that.

I pushed through the front door and immediately felt him behind me. My lips pulled back into a smile as he moved around me and stood at the bottom of the stairs. I watched as he breathed deeply, shoulders relaxed. I took a moment to draw the cold night air into my lungs. I could taste winter. Cool and crisp in my lungs. The spicy aroma of Edward mingled with earthy tree flavors. I was so ready to run and clear my head.

As I stood there, eyes on Edward's back, thoughts running rampant, I was pulled back to reality when a sweet coppery scent set my throat on fire. Before I could blink, Edward was a blur, taking off into the trees to the left of the house. I stepped down the stairs lightly and then took off after him.

His newborn thirst pulled him deeper into the trees with myself hot on his heels. Damn, he was fast. I breathed in again, listening to sounds around us. As we grew closer to our, meal, I slowed and backed off, allowing Edward space to move without worry.

I loved to watch him track and hunt. The intensity in his posture and eyes thrilled me to the core. He was graceful and lethal all at the same time. He had taken to this lifestyle with such ease, I often times forgot he was new. My thoughts came to a stuttered halt when I heard a very quiet snarl pull from his chest.

I watched as he lowered himself next to a bush, caribou. Three of them close, another six or seven in the distance.

I listened to their hooves tamp into the damp cold dirt. Their breaths, small noises from their teeth as they chewed moss.

And then Edward was back up and taking down what looked like a four hundred pound beast. His hands wrapped around the animal's antlers and he twisted, flipping the large animal onto the forest floor. The ground shook slightly with the force and I took another step back. A deep growl left his lips right before he sunk his teeth through fur and skin. I couldn't even move, I just stood, watching. I listened as the animal's breathing became shallow and it's heart slowed. I backed into the trees to find my own quick meal before Edward finished. I knew he'd find me after he was done hunting. I also knew that one wasn't going to be enough.

I didn't go too far from where he hunted. I could still smell him on the cool breeze as it danced through the trees.

Wiping my dirty hands on my jeans, I stood quietly and made my way back through the trees, listening for Edward. My thoughts still swam about his distracted behavior earlier. I stopped under a tall tree and waited for him to come.

"_Hoping for a moment that I turn around and you'll be coming after me_

_Cause all that I can say is that it's obvious, it's obvious you're all I see_

_So come on baby let me in and show me what this really is about_

_Cause I can't read you._

_Come on baby let me in and show me what this really is" ***_

* * *

><p>* No One Has to Know - Eliot Morris<p>

**The First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes

*** Stay - Safetysuit


	8. Chapter 8

"_I do not feel good. I thought by now I would. _

_But then again, It's like one thousand paper cuts soaked in vinegar._

_Like the battles with yourself that leave you insecure._

_It's all just a numbing charade _

_Until the day you finally wake up and you're not afraid._

_Bound by my own disposition the endless hunt to find fruition._

_I'm insatiable, even if my cup is full._

_My sore throats, are now routine...*"_

**There was no time to consider the fact that Bella's eyes were black with thirst. Chivalry was dead and instinct was strong. **

**The moment the tang of rust hit my nose, I was pulled toward it with unrelenting force. My body carried me through the trees as if I had known them all my life, dodging stray branches, leaping over fallen logs. A mass of thunderous clapping ran through the silence, pleading to be silenced by the strength of my jaw.**

_**Six. Seven. North by northwest. Eight. **_

**Springing from behind the shroud of darkness, I lunged at one that had strayed, not wanting to alert the others of my presence. My teeth sliced into the massive figure effortlessly as I drew the warm, viscous liquid into my throat. Grunting in frustration when the animal grew empty and cold, I tossed it aside and set my focus on a second. A third. A fourth.**

**Minutes later, there was silence in the small clearing. Laying in the snow, my eyes opened to thousands of stars, each illuminated by a cloud of color and light. Bella's footsteps approached from my right. I cleared my throat, soon ashamed by my gluttony. **

"**Santa's gonna be pissed."**

~xOx~

Pushing away from the tree at his words, I made my way silently toward him.

"So long as you didn't get the one with the red blinky nose, I think we're okay." I laughed when he made a little 'Oops' gesture with his hands and his shoulders shrugged.

"You ready to head back now, Superman?" I held my hand out toward his and pulled him up. I couldn't help the idiotic smile that was plastered across my face.

"Feel better now? Maybe, a little less distracted?" I watched his face intently.

~xOx~

_**Distracted? **_

_**Flannel. **_

_**Shit.**_

**My mind had emptied entirely when the coursing veins of the caribou were near. Now we were back to reality and I was plagued by the thought of that damn red fabric in her room. Not a single other thing was out of place. It was as if it had been left there purposely.**

_**In her bedroom.**_

**Charlie wouldn't have left it in her bedroom. He didn't sleep, and he would have hung his jacket by the door. There would be no reason to be anywhere near the bed. **

_**Our bed.**_

**There was something very wrong about this and Bella was either hiding it from me or so distracted she didn't notice. And I was about to use both to my advantage. Jealousy raged inside me despite my best efforts to convince myself otherwise. I had an urgent need to possess every inch of my wife. To stake my claim. **

_**If you're watching... enjoy the show.**_

**I cocked a brow. "Much less distracted. Everything is much... clearer... now." **

**A wicked grin spread across my face. The thirst for blood had been quenched and desire crept past the jealousy and concern, consuming me. Wrapping my fingers gently around her wrist, placing another behind her back, I pulled her body to mine.**

"_I was thrown before the court of canes, tossed my soul to the furnace flames_

_Where all my heroes had been slain, exiled, or put in prison_

_Because they rose above the mess and because their power posed a threat_

_And because they spoke of something else when everybody else didn't_

_The music fills the space between, the deities and the prophecies_

_Of our bodies pressed seamlessly silent in the shade"_

**Her guard fell as my lips met the crook of her neck, eliciting a less than quiet moan. I felt her tiny fingers raise to my hair, twisting into it as she leaned back, granting me access. **

"_She looks at me so fearlessly and I take it all too seriously_

_But it all becomes so clear to me and makes me understand_

_That she's mine, she's mine, she's mine, all mine."_

_~xOx~_

Lips, soft and urgent swept over my neck. Every other thought fell from my mind as I twisted my fingers into the soft thick pieces of hair at his neck.

His breath whispered over my skin, causing the muscles in my shoulders and back to tense with desire. I pulled at his face, turning his lips to mine.

And I swear to god, I felt a pulse race through my veins. Excitement built and turned into need as his teeth tugged at my lower lip.

I pulled myself up his body, locking my ankles behind his back. My fingers twisted and pulled at his hair until his throat was exposed, I teased the sensitive skin with my finger tips and lips until he groaned.

"Two can play that game." The words breezed over my tongue and past my lips in a light breath.

"_Put your hands all over me please talk to me, talk to me_

_Tell me everything, it's gonna be alright_

_Put your hands all over me_

_Please walk with me, walk with me now_

_Love is a game you say_

_Play me and put me away"***_

_~xOx~_

**Time is a funny thing. I imagined that without sleep the days would blend together, like a massive passage of time with no real definition. No end. No beginning. Just, time.**

**Instead, in the weeks since this life began, the passage of time was more like a string of situations and incidents. The things from the past grew dimmer by the day, not because my memory was suffering. But, rather, the new experiences had so much more detail that you could not help but think of them often. **

**It was as if the new information pressed the old into the darkness. Like going from listening to radio to watching high definition digital cable in the blink of an eye. Or the silence of the heart.**

**The cabin was far enough from town to be safe for the locals and close enough to the woods to be plentiful for hunting. And remote. Very remote. Hugely advantageous for newlyweds.**

**So, when an unfamiliar vehicle made its way through town, we were both prepared.**

* * *

><p>*Battles - The Spill Canvas<p>

**Brett Dennen - She's Mine

*** Hands All Over - Maroon 5


	9. Chapter 9

"_Over and in, last call for sin_

_While everyone's lost, the battle is won_

_With all these things that I've done"_

The movers were scheduled to drop our items in the early afternoon. I waited until Edward was in the shower before I silently grabbed the red flannel jacket and headed quietly out of the house.

I couldn't even bring myself to hold the disgusting thing in a full grip. I pinched it between my thumb and finger and ran out to the shed as quickly and quietly as possible. I opened the door to the wooden building slowly. Stale cold air wafted out in a rush at my face. My nose scrunched up as the dust blew out.

I opened the door just enough to shove my arm and the jacket through, tossing the clothing behind an old shelf. I closed the shed back up, latching it tight and went back to the house. I stopped in the small kitchen and washed my hands with lemon scented soap.

Edward was still in the shower. I could hear him singing and I snuck quietly to the bathroom door. I smiled as I opened the door, singing along with him for a moment.

"But still, the truth remains lethal, a lie made by man. Where my shoes become hammers and my words become sand." I smiled through the words. "How's it going in here? The movers will be here soon. Are you going to take off?"

I hated the idea of him being out there alone. Not that I didn't think he couldn't take care of himself. Maybe I just hated the idea of him not being with me.

I sat on the counter, next to the sink and drew faces in the steamy mirror.

~xOx~

**Things I never would have noticed had become a regular part of life now. So, I immediately sensed when Bella opened the door. The temperature shifted, her scent became stronger, overpowering the shampoo that lathered through my hair. **

"**Pretty good," I smirked, rinsing my hair beneath the hot cascade of water.**

**I swung the door open and stepped onto the mat, water running off my body. "But I want you to come in closer." **

**Grabbing her arms, I pulled her off the counter, moving us simultaneously into the shower. "Come in closer." Taking advantage of Bella's slackjawed expression, I met her slightly parted lips with an eager kiss. "Come in closer."**

"**Mhmm," I murmured, making quick work of removing the soaked shirt that clung to her skin. "Take off," I agreed, moving my hand to the waist of her jeans, slowly peeling them off her hips. My fingertips grazed the length of her legs as I moved back toward the dueling streams. **

"**Soon," I questioned, tasting beads of water along her shoulder. She answered silently, raising her leg to my hip. A quiet moan of affirmation escaped her lips as her head lolled back, resting against the tile. **

"**How soon?"**

~xOx~**  
><strong>

"Soon. Too soon." My hands slid up his wet arms and locked around his neck.

Words poured from my mouth in a muddled run-on sentence.

"Soon.. please.. now... " I pulled him in closer with my leg. "Please... Edward." That's all it took. His mouth covered mine and for long blissful moments it was just us and the hot water.

_Can't stop my mind from thinking of you_

_How am I supposed to function_

_Got me feelin' for your lips on my kiss_

_All night, never want no other lover_

_Baby I'm hungry_

_I want and I need_

_Bring me your sugar_

_And pour it all over me baby_

_Put your hands on me baby***_

**I loathed the movers. Never, in my life, have I wished someone would vanish the way I did that moment. I pulled my arms through a hoodie with a heavy sigh, stealing one last kiss as they knocked on the door.**

"**I'm going out through the deck," I conceded. Me, in the house, with humans, was unnecessarily risky. It was just stupid to be in the house unfed. I would need two, maybe three, to get through a room of pulsing heartbeats. **

**I caught a glimpse of Bella's tongue glide across her lips as I walked past, a satisfied smile threatening her lips. With a groan, I slipped through the doors and headed into the cold. The stench of oily fish and wet animal hair clung to the air. I fought the urge to retch and headed into the reprieve of the quiet forest ahead, greeted by the familiar smell of caribou. **

~xOx~**  
><strong>

Before I even made my way to the door to allow the movers in, a very pungent, yet familiar scent started beating it's way into the house.

I couldn't believe the things that the locals ate here. I pulled open the door to three very healthy looking guys. One of them was familiar.

"Hi!" I stepped aside as they walked in, each of them smiling and pushing and punching at the other. They completely dwarfed the living room. There was hardly room for all of us. Thank god Edward wasn't here, I would be completely squished into a corner.

"I ain't playin', dude. I _know _this honey. She is straight up smokin'," I turned to Embry. There was no flying low on my radar. Not in this town. This was _my '_hood. Someone like Isabella Swan, even in her little cabin on the outer rim, you noticed. Word travels fast around here.

Embry laughed, "I know your definition of pitsiark, homey. Your last girlfriend was so ugly her pillow cried at night." Quil choked on laughter from the back and I turned up the music to drown them both out. "Yeah, you'll _both _see.

"_I'm a seasoned vet when it come to this shit_

_After you work up a sweat you can play with the stick_

_I'm trying to explain baby the best way I can_

_I melt in your mouth girl, not in your hands***"_

I backed the truck up to the house and unloaded the ramps. The hydraulics weren't quiet, so I knew she heard us out there. "I got it," I told the boys as I walked up to the door, trying to ignore their snarky comments from behind me.

Raising a hand to knock, the door opened before I could touch it. "Hey," I grinned. "I remember you. Isabella, right? Qanuipit?" Embry shoved Quil into the doorway, nearly knocking me over from behind. He grinned up at her, "What Jake means is, how _you _doin'?" Quil pushed Embry out of the way and thrust a hand out toward her, "Name's Quil. That's all you need to know."

I rolled my eyes. Embry jeered, "What's wrong, Jakey, you kangusuktok of your brothers?" "YES!" I hissed quietly through clenched teeth. "Knock it off."

They were boisterous and happy and falling all over each other. I laughed with them, their mood was completely infectious.

"Yeh. I'm Bella. Just Bella." I waved quickly and shoved my hand into the back pocket of my jeans hoping to avoid their handshake without being rude.

"It's nice to meet you guys." I turned to Jake and eyed him carefully. "Where do you remember me from? I don't think we've ever been introduced." I recalled seeing him before. Probably around town when I was staying here a few months ago. He had a straight white smile and soft brown eyes. He was huge. Like a bear. And he smelled like, fish. Old fish. But under that, his scent was peppery, warm and cozy. I liked him on the spot.

The other two were snickering and waiting for Jake to answer.

_Shit. Where'd we meet? _

Nervously, I shifted my weight. "Uh," I stammered, "prolly Sam's Hardware." I wasn't about to tell her that I checked her out every time she was in town. Like I said... word travels fast.

"So, um," I started, trying to change the subject, "there's like two crates out there. Where do you want this stuff?" The cabin was totally decked out with furniture. Not a whole lot of room around for anything. I couldn't imagine what else she was moving in.

_Maybe she's redecorating or some girly shit._

Quil and Embry were talking in Inuktitut behind me. I really hoped she couldn't understand what they were saying.

_Pigs. Foul mouthed pigs._

Embry pushed my shoulder from behind and taunted with a single word. "Ui." I looked back and he was wiggling his ring finger, motioning toward Isabella... Bella's... hand.

_Husband?_

_She got married! _

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN_**

**_She got married! :) Yes, Jacob, she got married.  
>Jacob and his guys really made me laugh a lot in this chapter. They have quite the personalities at times. ;) Drop us a line and let us know what you think.<em>**

* * *

><p>** Come in Closer - Blue October<p>

***Put Your Hands On Me - Joss Stone

***Candy Shop - 50 Cent & Olivia


	10. Chapter 10

_"You got style, you got grace_  
><em>But kid you try so hard<em>  
><em>She just laughs in your face<em>  
><em>Yeah you're a nice guy<em>  
><em>With the wrong attitude<em>  
><em>She want a bad boy."<em>

* * *

><p>I wasn't completely schooled in Inuktitut, but I could tell they were giving Jake a ration about me.<p>

I just smiled and kept going.

"Sam's? Hmmm." I put my best thinking face on for show. I had never been into Sam's. "You sure?" I was having too much fun with him. His friends hooted quietly behind him.

I looked out one of the large glass windows at their truck, two crates.

"Is there a couch? There should be a black leather couch."

Did they crate it? Possibly. When the movers came in Washington, they just padded and wrapped everything and took it off to the warehouse to be crated and loaded.

~xOx~

_**I felt my face grow hot, flushing through to my ears. **_

_**"Couch," I shrugged in response. "I dunno, might be. Only one way to know for sure..." I turned to walk outside, thankful for cold air.**_

_**Quil walked by me, muttering under his breath, Mamaqtualuk mama. I shoved both shoulders, hard, and he fell face first into the snow. Embry ran by laughing like a maniac, and grabbed a crowbar to open the side of the crate. The arm of a black leather couch, wrapped in sheets of foam, was the first thing I saw.**_

_**"I'll pull it out." I offered. **_

_**Embry doubled over in laughter. "Pull it out, push it in. Ohhh baby. Ohhh, Iiiiisaaaaabeeellllaaaa."**_

_**My face flushed red again. **_

_**"Do you have a death wish?" I snarled.**_

~xOx~_**  
><strong>_

I listened to them outside, arguing quietly and saw Jake push one of his friends down in the snow. I hid my laughter behind my hand and ran back to the bedroom to push the dresser out of the way for the couch.

I made it back to the front room in time to see Jake walking backwards down the truck ramp carrying one side of the couch, and Embry on the other end. I held the door open as wide as possible, more for their own width than the couch itself.

"Back this way, guys." I led them to the bedroom. And stood in the middle of the bed as they maneuvered the couch and their bodies around.

"Just up against the wall." I smiled brightly and beamed at the couch as though it were my most prized possession. As soon as they set it down, I jumped off the bed and flopped on the still half wrapped cushions.

"Thank you so much, guys." I sighed contentedly and closed my eyes for a brief moment, smelling Edward all around me. Leather couch and Edward. Edward sprawled out on the couch, sleeping. Quietly dreaming. My Edward. Opening my eyes, I immediately felt embarrassed for my swooning so openly in front of strangers.

"I love this couch." I stood up and walked out of the room.

~xOx~

_**The look on her face when she laid on that couch did really bad things to my head.**_

_Bella, ussertok..._

_Bend you over that..._

_DOWN BOY!_

_**I cleared my throat audibly. "Yeah, we ll just... go get that other stuff."**_

_** I tried to walk toward the door and stumbled over my own boots, cursing them under my breath.**_

_**"Karma." Quil taunted.**_

_**We walked back out to the truck and got to work unloading the rest of what I assumed was her new husband's junk. I resisted the urge to accidentally break one of his guitars. Billy would fire my ass if he had to replace an instrument.**_

~xOx~

**The thought of some movers being alone with Bella proved too distracting to allow for a proper hunt. I wanted nothing more than to return to the cabin. Determined to prove my restraint to Bella, not to mention myself, I headed back toward the cabin.**

**In the silence of the clearing, I could hear everything they were saying. Bella was moving in the bedroom, likely unpacking some smaller boxes. I couldn't remember a single thing I had packed, but she seemed happy.**

**Really happy.**

**A little too happy.**

**Her body fell from my view, beneath the window, and I picked up speed. Breath escaped her lips in an audible sigh.**

**Contentment.**

**Pleasure.**

**What the hell is going on in there?**

**The wet animal smell grew stronger. The movers must have killed an animal with the truck -a big, wet, hairy animal that ate a lot of fish. My nose wrinkled in disgust and I found myself holding my breath, not only for the safety of the movers, but because the smell was nearly unbearable.**

**Words rang out in the silence that I didn't understand.**

**Another language? What is he saying?**

_All these words they make no sense_  
><em>I find bliss in ignorance<em>  
><em>Less I hear the less you'll say<em>  
><em>You'll find that out anyway...<em>

**That same flat sound as the delivery man on the island. I had pushed it out of my mind, having been away from that kind for so long. But, it flooded back as soon as I heard it again.**

**Thoughts. His thoughts. About Bella?**

**Bend her over the... WHAT?**

_Everything you say to me_  
><em>Takes me one step closer to the edge<em>  
><em>And I'm about to break I need a little room to breathe<em>  
><em>Cause I'm one step closer to the edge I'm about to break**<em>

**I closed the distance between us effortlessly, sliding the door wide open to find Bella stepping out of the room. The awful smelling pervert had vacated the room, but his stench still clung to the air. There was zero risk of me wanting to kill him for sustenance.**

_**Not for sustenance.**_

**I stepped past Bella in a rush, making my way to the front door.**

~xOx~

I felt my hair blow over my shoulder, touching my cheek before I realized that Edward was back.

_Oh my god._

Edward was back and he was moving faster than he should be. _What is he doing?_ I double stepped to catch him, grabbing for his hand gently, his fingers brushed right through mine as if they were made of air.

"Edward."

He slowed but his chest was moving as if he were angry. Full deep breaths wracked his body. Air hissed out from clenched teeth.

"Edward. What is going on? You need to relax. The movers are still here. You need to calm down, please." I made no move to get closer to him, but I could hear the guys outside talking and getting ready to come in with a few boxes.

~xOx~

**"The things he said..." I growled. "You didn't hear..." My stomach lurched. He was moving closer.**

**Bella's eyes pleaded. I closed mine and slowly exhaled the breath I'd been holding. "I'll be on the deck."**

**From inside I heard Fishbreath and his friends settling the bill. Time ticked slowly, but he seemed to keep his mind to himself.**

**_Not a whole lot going on upstairs._**

**Once the truck was a safe distance away, Bella stepped outside to let me know it was clear.**

**As if I didn't know.**

**"I'm sorry," I offered remorsefully. "You didn't hear the disgusting things he was thinking." I raked my fingers through my hair.**

**"The good news is, I had no desire whatsoever to drain him." I gagged exaggeratedly at the thought. "Do all the locals... smell... like that?"**

~xOx~

_The good news? That was the good news?_

I sat quietly on the wooden rail.

"Edward," my voice was soft, quiet, "how are, how do we, I mean," I couldn t find the right words to express myself and it was becoming frustrating. "How can I help you with the umm, voices. I mean, when you hear someone and I don't. Say, if we were in town? I can t imagine how that is going to be for you. I feel for you, and I want you to know, that no matter what someone thinks, I am right here. And their thoughts can t hurt me."

I reached a hand out toward him attempting to draw him closer. He didn't disappoint. His fingers locked with mine and I smiled up at him, jumping off the railing and tugging him into the bedroom through the sliding door. I pushed him gently down onto the couch and curled up in his lap.

"I love this couch, Edward." My fingers drew circles over his chest. I twisted a finger into one of the hood strings of his sweatshirt and pressed my lips to his jaw. "I love you more though."

~xOx~

**We sat like that for hours, quietly content in our place. Everything about it felt like home. I finally broke the silence, answering Bella s question from earlier.**

**"Do you remember nightmares?" My eyes were distant, focused on a blank corner of the room, trying to pull the memories in.**

**"Do you remember how they would feel real?" I met her curious eyes. "That's kind of what it's like. Like nightmares. The voices," I tried to explain. "Very real. Very threatening."**

**"Everyone has this inner dialogue," I continued, brushing the hair back from her face. "Our worst fears. Our deepest fantasies. The mouth is sort of a filter, blocking out that which is socially unacceptable and wholly improper to speak. But, the mind..." I searched for the words.**

**"The mind is impulsive. You can't control thoughts. Thoughts are raw and unfiltered. Dark. Confusing. Malicious. Vengeful. Insidious. Lustful. Filled with the deadliest sins and animalistic impulses. To hear them from certain minds," my thumb brushed against her forehead both in gratitude and sadness that I could not hear hers, "can be overwhelming."**

_Give me strength to be kind..._  
><em>To combine <em>  
><em>All the good things in life that are so hard to find<em>

**"I haven t quite figured out how to distinguish between intent and thought." I went on.**

**"Particularly when I'm not in the room and cannot see the body language. Most often I hear the voices when someone is thinking of you. And, well, I don't like those thoughts being about you. You're my wife. And even if I trust you inherently," I reassured her, pressing my lips to her forehead, "the things they think of you cause rage to bubble up beneath the surface."**

_Still hearing voices from front, from behind_  
><em>They're the reason I choose when to live how to die<em>

**I sighed heavily, unsure that I would ever become acclimated to this particular ability. **

**"The thoughts overpower the scent. Does that make any sense?" She nodded, deep in thought. "It's much stronger. Quite distracting. I don't even think about thirst in those situations. They may as well be screaming them into my ears, they re so prevalent."**

**She wrapped her arm behind my neck, pulling me into a gentle, reassuring kiss. **

**"And then, with you," I said quietly, our lips brushing as I spoke, "nothing."**

**"A quiet mind."**

_You give me a quiet mind and I, I love you until the end. ***_

* * *

><p><em>AN  
>My desktop has crashed.. leaving me fumbling through editing chapters with acrobatthe ff site and not word. Grrrr. I am going to attempt to edit another chapter in the next day or so, but I am also prepping for move that is going to take place next week. Sooooo... lol things may be fuzzy around here. First Light is a completed story, it is just trying to post chapters that might take a bit. Rest assured, it will all be published. :)  
>I am also working on editing another chapter of Out of the Blue.<br>Thank you to all of our amazing readers who stick with us even though we leave you hanging. We promise it isn't on purpose._

*Cobra Starship -Nice Guys Finish Last  
>**Linkin Park -One Step Closer<br>***Blue October -A Quiet Mind


	11. Chapter 11

**_A/N It has been a while, we apologize. We should be back on schedule now with at least one chapter a week from here on out. We are about half way done with our story of Bella and her once human, Edward. Thank you all so much for reading and we enjoy any and all comments you leave as well.  
>We would also like to thank whomever nominated us for a Tomato Soup Award. :) We are in the category for Strawberry Jam aka Best Bella! We are completely thrilled to have even been nominated. If you have a moment, and think you'd like to vote for our Bella, you can do so here:<br>t h e t o m a t o s o u p a w a r d. b l o g s p o t . c o m _**

_**Thank you again for all of your support. QoH and MW**  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>I would give you laughter<br>And so much more than that  
>Oh yes I would.<br>Anything that you're after I would climb the highest mountain to bring it back.  
>You better believe, I will stay by your side.<br>Whether I'm wrong, whether I'm right, Oh it's incredible  
>With you I intend to spend the rest of my life.<br>Loving you is easy. Comes so naturally._

"There is only one other thing that I want you to know." I smiled into Edward's eyes. "No matter what, I can and will, defend myself." I straddled his lap. "Even if it meant that I would smell like old fish. I promise you, Edward, I will never let anyone hurt me."

Resting my forehead to his, I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. Drowning myself shamelessly in his sweet breath and touch.

~xOx~

**"I know you can," I relented. "But, it s kind of my job now -defending your honor and all that. You re my wife," I grinned. I could definitely get used to that.**

**"And please, never, ever, smell the way those movers did," I pleaded, pulling her close. We were in a good place. The room was quiet again, the stench slowly dissipating, and it began to smell of leather and Grams' house and Bella. I found myself craving a cigarette. A cigarette on the deck, overlooking the water. The snow would have to do.**

**Standing, I took Bella's hand. "Come on. I have a need to feel human again for a minute. Care to join me?" Her fingers laced through mine and we headed toward the doors in the bedroom. I turned back to grab my old Zippo from the dresser and the empty chair caught my eye.**

**"Bella?" I began cautiously. "What happened to the jacket?"**

~xOx~

No need to beat around the bush.

"I got rid of it. Earlier."

We were standing in front of the door staring at each other. I am sure that to an outsider, we would have looked completely ridiculous. Both of us with blank faces, unblinking, not breathing, statues, waiting.

~xOx~

**Got rid of it?**

**"Was someone... else... here? When the movers were here?"**

**My chest tightened. It was not only the senses that were heightened, but emotions as well. And jealousy was an ugly demon creeping up inside.**

**"Was someone else... ever... here? Living... here? With you?"**

**I hated myself for asking. But I had to know.**

~xOx~

"What? No!" I stepped back to so that I could see his face better.

"No one was here. Other than the movers. And no one has ever lived in this house except for me." I frowned. Was his mistrust in me? Or just with the unknown?

"Do you remember, the conversation we had, you were still, human, so you may not remember quite well. But when I told you, that I hadn't been with anyone, in a long time, I meant that you are the only man that I had been with since. Well. You know." Why did it hurt so much more to have to admit the past to Edward, than it did to myself.

"Charlie has never even lived here. Just me. Only me. I swear it." I kept his gaze.

~xOx~

**"I'm sorry. I had no right to..." The words wouldn't come. "It's just that I..." In an instant I felt raw. Raw and desperate.**

_Vacate is the word. Vengeance has no place so near to her.  
>Cannot find a comfort in this world. Artificial tears. Vessel stabbed.<br>Next up, volunteer. Vulnerable, wisdom can't adhere.  
>A truant finds home and a wish to hold on.<br>But, there's a trapdoor in the sun.  
>Immortality**<em>

**"I love you," I rasped, reaching for her hands, desperate for a connection. "I know I have no reason to think otherwise...but I feel so damn... vulnerable." I laughed lightly, shaking off the intensity of the feelings.**

**Leave it to me to feel invincible before and needy after. Apparently jealousy is my kryptonite.**

**She curled against my chest the way she always did, her curves fitting into the contours of my body as if we were pieces of a whole. My arms wrapped around her in an effort to reassure her, and myself, that I was okay.**

**"I've never needed someone the way I need you. Like air." I felt her shoulders shake with a quiet laugh. "Or, not air. Like..." I thought for a moment.**

**"Like nothing else. You're my reason for everything."**

**Our lips met with a silent desperation, hers in convincing me that I was the only one and she'd always be there and mine.**

~xOx~

I clung to him for dear life. I wanted him to know that there would never be anyone else for me. That I had waited all these years, alone, until the day I met him. I made a silent pact that I would do everything in my power to make sure he knew just how much I loved him.

Taking his hand in mine, smiling, I grabbed the forgotten lighter from the dresser and opened the door for us to go outside.

He pulled a cigarette from the pack and propped it between his lips as I leaned in and lit it for him. His eyes closed as he inhaled the smoke and his posture relaxed. Funny how some of the human things we carry over with us, still have the same affect, though they shouldn't. I tucked the lighter into the front pocket of his jeans and wrapped my arms around his waist. The smoke moved around us as he exhaled into the evening sky. His arm draped lightly around my shoulders, face upturned to the sky.

_Better._

'Better?' My thoughts echoed in a quiet word.

~xOx~

**I exhaled through my nose, watching the smoke curl through the air. Much. Her head moved to rest against my shoulder. I brought my hand up to her hair, lazily weaving my fingers through it.**

**"Thank you," I added quietly, pressing my lips to the top of her head. "For understanding. For being here. For being you."**

**The smoke pulled through my lungs. Even though I knew the nicotine didn't react in my body the way it once had, it was comforting. Familiar. I could taste so much more in the cigarette, but the comforting tones were exactly what I craved. Immortality didn't touch psychological addiction.**

**"What do you think we should do for Thanksgiving? That's coming up soon, right?" I felt her come to life beneath me, squirming with excitement. "I mean, do you have traditions? Like things you are accustomed to doing? Or, we could create our own? I mean, whatever you want to do." I offered with a smile.**

**She stood up, her eyes dancing with ideas.**

~xOx~

I pulled back and smiled.

"Oh yeh! Well, first, we have to find big giant turkeys... and I like to get them in a pen.. we release them the night before Thanksgiving, you know, like a head start, and then, we feast."

If I could have died from laughter, the look on Edward s face would have done the trick. I doubled over when his eyes grew wide and smoke rolled out from his open mouth. I couldn't stop the laughing. When I looked back up at him he was squinting in mock glare, which just made it better.

"Ohhhhh, ohhh, god. If you could see your face." I took a moment to calm myself and I think my crusty old heart did a back flip when he grinned at me.

"Honestly, as far as Thanksgiving goes, I don't have much tradition. I do love watching the parade in the morning. After that, Charlie always commandeered the tv for football. We just sat around together." I shrugged. "How about you? Anything you want to do?"

~xOx~

**"Have you... eaten... turkey?" Her easy laughter was contagious and I found myself grinning from ear to ear. "You're amusing yourself, aren't you?"**

**I slid the pack of cigarettes from my pocket, pulling one out with my lips. "What do you do for Christmas?" I joked as she flicked the lighter and held the flame to the end.**

**"I dunno. I don't really have any sense of tradition anymore." I pulled air through the length of the cigarette, the end glowing red in the dusky light. "There's a parade?" I searched my memories for a Thanksgiving parade, but I was at a loss. "Like, here in town?"**

**I laughed at the thought of a fishbreath parade.**

**Pass.**

~xOx~

"I happen to think that I am a fairly amusing girl. No?" I took a deep mocking bow, winking as I stood back up.

"You never watched the Thanksgiving parade on tv? It s in New York. In the city. Not a local thing. Although, I do believe they have a little gathering here in town if you feel you re up to braving it? Otherwise, I would love nothing more than to spend the entire day showing you just how thankful I am that you are all mine."

* * *

><p>*Alicia Keys -Lovin You<p>

**Pearl Jam -Immortality


	12. Chapter 12

**_A/N Here we are... 9-10-11... and chapter 12. We hope you all have a beautiful weekend._  
><strong><em>We would also like to thank whomever nominated us for a Tomato Soup Award. :) We are in the category for Strawberry Jam aka Best Bella! We are completely thrilled to have even been nominated. If you have a moment, and think you'd like to vote for our Bella, you can do so here:<br>t h e t o m a t o s o u p a w a r d. b l o g s p o t . c o m _**  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>At the first hint of daylight, Bella slipped out of bed. Even though we didn't sleep, it became our nightly ritual to spend the dark hours there. Covered by down that would never warm our bodies, she would wrap her legs through mine and rest her head on my chest.<strong>

**She stood there, in the half-light dawn. A silhouette beside the bed. I could sense her contentment, the corner of her lips pulled back ever so slightly. When she finally turned to move, she slid my tee shirt off and tossed it on the bed, padding softly into the bathroom to shower.**

**It was Thanksgiving and despite my best efforts I had yet to come up with a tradition for us. I pressed my head back further into the pillows and ran both hands across my face.**

**_Think._**

**Bella wanted to watch the parade. I could hear the hum of the DVR, recording for the past couple of hours. I set out to accomplish all I could think of outside. Taking full advantage of my abilities, I worked quickly. Bella s showers were fairly predicable. Not to mention the fact that I could hear her singing, and the water running, through the cedar planked walls.**

**We never hunted alone, but I could blame my trip outside on a cigarette.**

**_Shit. Where are they?_**

**I patted my flannel pants to no avail. A near empty pack caught my attention on the rail and I sighed in relief as I lit one and took a moment to inhale deeply.**

**Okay I really needed this.**

**Concealing my efforts, I grabbed a stack of logs from the wood pile and headed back inside just as Bella turned the water off. She was humming softly in the bathroom while she dried her hair and I carefully stacked the firewood in the bedroom, beside the hearth.**

**After getting the fire going, I sat on the couch, tuning my guitar. It didn't take long for her to come out of the bathroom. Her eyelashes were still wet, her hair hanging down, slightly damp. A towel was tucked loosely under her arms and there was no one more beautiful in the world.**

**I looked down at the guitar, as if I needed to concentrate, and began to play.**

**"It's hard for me to say the things I want to say sometimes**  
><strong>There's no one here but you and me and the broken old street lights<strong>  
><strong>Lock the door, leave the world outside<strong>  
><strong>All I've got to give to you are these five words tonight..."<strong>

**She moved slowly to the couch beside me. I turned toward her and her hand went to my thigh, not wanting to interrupt.**

**"Thank you for loving me**  
><strong>For being my eyes when I couldn't see<strong>  
><strong>For parting my lips when I couldn't breathe<strong>  
><strong>Thank you for loving me<strong>  
><strong>For loving me."*<strong>

**Her eyes fell closed and she inhaled deeply, then leaned in slowly to kiss my lips, lingering there. No words needed to be spoken.**

~xOx~

After I quickly pulled on a pair of soft pants and a t-shirt, Edward dragged me back into the bed, tucked us in under layers of soft sheets and fluffy down and flipped the tv on. The parade lit the screen and he pulled me into his side.

So far, this was the best Thanksgiving I could ever remember. We made fun of the opening acts, the lip syncing Broadway singers were worth a laugh or two. And then we laid together in a comfortable silence. Commenting here and there on the floats, the balloons, the cheesy commentary. My sentimental side reared it s ugly head as Santa came down the road. Christmas without Charlie was going to be very different. Sharing gifts and decorating a tree. I wonder if he'll even get a tree. Without me there to push him out the door and into town to get one, he most likely won t even think about it. A soft sigh blew past my lips. I shifted, resting my forearms across Edward s chest and propped myself up to look down into his eyes.

"Can we go into town tomorrow and get some Christmas decorations? Maybe some lights and garland? Do you think you re ready to do something like that? If not, I can just order everything online." I kissed his nose. "Maybe I should just do that. Order online and have it delivered."  
>I wasn't sure he was ready to head out into the masses and I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. I worried more about his head being overwhelmed with all the inner voices from strangers.<p>

~xOx~

**The parade was... awful. It was. They have balloons from characters that were popular decades ago, strung to people on the ground like massive marionettes. The singing was all faked, but rather than embrace the facade they try to pass it off on the public as live performance. I watched in earnest, hoping one would pull an Ashlee Simpson, but no such luck. Bella grinned from ear to ear while we watched, though, and her happiness was contagious. This was one tradition I could absolutely live with.**

**_How many years are they going to reuse the same balloons? How many are we going to see over and over again? Dozens? Hundreds of times?_**

**"Hmm," I pretended to think intently. Her childlike enthusiasm for this holiday was something I'd recognized immediately. This wasn't the first the time the subject had come up.**

**"Bella," I exhaled, "I told you, I can handle it. We can go to town tomorrow and I'll show you." I placed a reassuring kiss against her forehead.**

**I just had to find a way to keep my emotions in check. It wasn't the desire to hunt that threatened my restraint, it was those damn unfiltered thoughts in the men around my wife. Bella was beautiful beyond words, but so much more. She had a draw, an attractant, like pheromones but far more intense. It was part of her hunting instinct, I imagined, but when she walked into a room she was utterly captivating. Literally every man in her presence would fall to her feet, if given an opportunity. So, naturally their thoughts were filled with the most excruciating detail of what they would do with her. And then mine turn to what I want to do to them so that they never think again.**

**"And I think I can handle the thought thing, too. I have an idea how to counter that. So taking a trip to town tomorrow would be a great way to test it. In fact..." I raised a finger.**

**I slipped out from under her, leaning across to the bedside table, and pulled a small envelope out of the drawer. I know Thanksgiving isn't exactly a gift giving occasion. But, with no turkey -and as tempting as it is to catch a live one, but... no -and no pumpkin pies, I resorted to gift giving.**

**Bella's eyes lit up. She loved presents. Any kind. I set the envelope on my chest as we found our positions again, tangled together in organized chaos on the bed. She looked to me for permission to open it and with a nod and a crooked grin, I consented.**

**She was perplexed when she opened it, afraid to get her heart set on something that wouldn't come to fruition.**

**"I can do this,**

**"I reassured her. I made it here, didn't I?"**

**Her lip quivered, ever so slightly, and in an instant she smothered me.**

_Outside under the purple sky_  
><em>Diamonds in the snow sparkle<em>  
><em>And our hearts were singin'<em>  
><em>It felt like Christmas time 2000 miles is very far through the snow**<em>

*Thank you for loving me -Bon Jovi

**2000 Miles -Coldplay


	13. Chapter 13

"_Don't you know that I'll be around to guide you through your weakest moments_

_to leave them behind you._

_Returning nightmares, only shadows._

_We'll cast some light and you'll be alright"_

Early the next morning we went out for a quick snack before I stuffed us both into the car and headed into town.

We were so bundled it was almost absurd. Both of us in jeans, black boots wrapped half way up my calves. I went all out with a black and white striped scarf and matching fingerless gloves and cropped black leather jacket with a fake fur lined hood. I felt completely ridiculous and yet so happy.

Edward had given me the absolute hands down best Thanksgiving gift ever. Now, to actually get through the plane ride home. I was going to drag Edward into town as many times as possible between now and then, if something was going to happen, I wanted to be sure it didn't happen on an airplane.  
>Not that I doubted his control, it's just that, you never know. My thoughts drifted back to the first time I had been around him, how his scent drove me to almost climbing the walls.<p>

"_The streets outside your window overflooded_

_People staring, they know you've been broken_

_Repeatedly reminded by the looks on their faces_

_Ignore them tonight and you'll be all right" *_

~xOx~

**As we stepped out of the car, the smell overpowered everything else and stung my eyes. I swallowed, hard, and decided breathing was wholly unnecessary. We had reached the fishbreath mothership. It was everywhere. The people seemed to emanate it from their pores. **

_**Do they eat nothing **_**but**_** fish here?**_

**Under a cover of clouds, we walked the streets of town. Bella nearly skipped with excitement, shuffling in and out of stores while I waited outside. It was easy to find a bench and smoke, convincing the townspeople I was merely being polite about my bad habit. Periodically, Bella would come out of a store and I'd shuttle the packages down to the Jeep. We looked at the displays in the tiny storefronts and laughed at the windows filled with tiny Eskimo ornaments and bobsled dogs. **

"**That one look like Fishbreath?" I asked with a smirk. We spent the entire day in town, occasionally stealing a moment between the stores, sitting on a bench to watch people walk by. Lucky for them, most were women or couples who seemed to appreciate young love. Husbands held their wives hands a little tighter, women smiled a little wider, when they'd pass by us. Apparently we had **_**the look. Young and in love. Adja! How nice! Naglingnerk. Love. **_

**Bella quickly picked up the tradition of kunik, nuzzling her face against mine, our foreheads touching lightly, lips and noses brushed together. It was safe to breathe when she did that. She** **was so close, there was nothing else around but her sweet cinnamon scent. "I love you," I said quietly. Her lips smiled on mine.**

"_I could see snow covered hills_

_You were walking, I was standing still_

_I could feel the cold on my face_

_And we were talking like always_

_I could touch the snow covered leaves_

_And you were walking closer to me_

_I would play you a song out loud_

_Yeah, we could sing it 'till the year runs out"_

**When the sky grew darker, we headed back to the car, filled with bags and packages. "When do you want to get a tree," I asked as I slid into the driver's seat. I was trying to hide my excitement about the little surprise I had in store for her at the cabin. For a vampire with extreme senses, I was thankful she hadn't noticed anything different.**

"**See?" I added proudly, grinning smugly. "I did great." I had done really well, truth be told I even surprised myself. I leaned across the seats, pulling the massive tuft of a hood off her face to kiss her cheek, my right palm sliding against her thigh. **

**The roles were reversed here, in Bella's world She usually drove. Her cabin. Her town. It would be interesting to get back to Forks in a few weeks and see what roles we fell into there. **

**I turned onto the remote road that led to her property and fought a smile. "Close your eyes," I instructed. She balked. "Seriously! Close 'em," I urged. **

**I pulled up toward the cabin, just beyond the tree line but still back a ways so that we could see the whole house. **

_**Good thing someone invented timers for lights.**_

**I outlined the entire cabin, up to the peak of the roof and back down, with a single row of white lights. I stumbled onto them in the attic one day, putting away some things from the crates that we didn't need right away. Along the gutters were tiny icicle lights that seemed to drip from the rooftop. The warm glow of cedar was illuminated by the white lights, casting a glow on the snowflakes all around. **

**Her eyes opened and mirrored the twinkling lights in the bushes. "Do you like it?"**

"_I remember streets covered white_

_And I remember a long tonight_

_See our December will be littered with lights_

_And I see you walkin' to me_

_Oh, we were holdin' the future in hand_

_A place to fly and a place to land_

_Now our December will be sure to last_

_Said there'll be no rush for the year to pass..._

_I could see snow covered hills _

_And all at once my heart is still._

_I see you walking to me_

_Yeah I see you walking to me."**_

~xOx~_  
><em>

The breath I had, stuck in my throat as my eyes opened to hundreds of white lights lining the house. The snow in the front yard was glowing and shimmering back at us.

"Oh my god, Edward." I twisted in my seat to face him. "When did you do this? It's absolutely completely... wow. It's perfect."

As soon as he put the car in park, I jumped out and raced around to his side, pulling him eagerly from the seat. I reached quickly around him and turned the stereo up, leaving the door open, I pulled him into the middle of the glowing twinkling yard and with a huge smile on my face, we danced in the snow.

_"I want a snowfall kind of love_

_The kind of love that quiets the world_

_I want a snowfall kind of love_

_'Cause I'm a snowfall kind of girl_

_I want a snowfall kind of love_

_That lights up the sky from below_

_I want a snowfall kind of love_

_That brings people to their window_

_Won't you bury me in your quiet love_

_Oh bury me in your quiet love_

_Bury me in your quiet love_

_And we will blow away_

_I want a snowfall kind of love_

_The kind of love that keeps you in bed all day_

_Oh I want to walk through with you_

_And watch it all melt away_

_Won't you bury me in your quiet love_

_Oh bury me in your quiet love_

_Bury me in your quiet love_

_And we will blow away"_

I'm not sure how long we stood out under the night sky, singing quietly to each other and dancing, but it was one of the most amazing nights of my entire existence.  
>We unloaded the Jeep and stashed our goodies in the small kitchen. I started tearing through small packages of ornaments, dangling a heart made of glass up for Edward to see. The words, Our First Christmas, etched across the front.<p>

We had decided to get a fake tree, boo, because we were going to be traveling. Didn't want it to rot while we were gone. I supposed it makes sense. In a logical sort of way. Damn him for being so logical.

As Edward set up the tree, I pulled ornaments from their cases and boxes and wrappers and set them all out on the floor for display. I couldn't help the eager giddiness that was coursing through my limbs as I danced around him, his hand full of plastic and metal tree branches.

"You are the best husband ever!" I reached up on my tip toes and kissed him quickly as I dropped a red Santa hat on his head. "Absolutely gorgeous. Best Santa I've ever seen. A little on the thin side, but, I guess it'll do." I laughed as I took off across the room to grab the silver tree topper.

* * *

><p>*José González - Crosses<p>

**Thriving Ivory - Our December

*** Ingrid Michaelson - Snowfall


	14. Chapter 14

A/N Thank you for all the kind comments, adds and favorites! We truly appreciate everything. We hope you enjoy this next little chapter with Bella and her Edward. ~ QoH & MW

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_You are my sweetest downfall_

_I loved you first, I loved you first_

_Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth_

_I have to go, I have to go_

_Your hair was long when we first met."_

The days flew by, filled with my favorite Christmas movies and music. Edward serenaded me every night before we became a tangle mass beneath sheets and pillows. The nights were always my favorite. We couldn't sleep, but we could lay together in the dark and allow ourselves the luxury of shutting out the world for a few hours.

"What are you going to pack?" I was standing in the closet staring at hangers full of shirts. "Do we need to bring anything formal? I mean, maybe for New Years? Should I bring a dress?" I bent and started looking through a pile of shoes in the back corner of the closet. I picked up a box with a pair of black heels nestled in paper.  
>"If Ang is there, she might just want to go shopping for a dress." I smiled as I dropped the box back to the carpeted floor. A new dress. I wasn't much for shopping, but thinking about wearing something new for Edward made me excited.<p>

~xOx~

**I sat down on the bed near the closet, watching Bella rummage through it. "Pack?" I ran fingers through my hair. "Do you mean to say, you haven't packed **_**for **_**me?" I grinned as she shot me a look over her shoulder.**

"**Truthfully, I haven't given it any thought. I was kind of focused on just surviving the commute. Though, I suppose it isn't **_**my **_**survival I should be concerned with." My eyes ran down the length of the closet rod, distracted by Bella bending over in the tiny room. **

"**You're not helping me think out here," I teased. "Have you talked to anyone? I mean, do we have... plans?"**

**Christmas was creeping up quickly and it was my first holiday with Charlie and Bella. On top of that, there was this whole... bloodlust... aspect of returning to town. I had barely even considered gifts. "Did you get Charlie something? I mean, from **_**us**_**?" I flicked my lighter open and rolled my finger along the wheel, watching small sparks fly up. **

"**Do we need to get gifts for anyone else?"**

_**Snap out of it. It's Christmas and you've been living in your own little self absorbed world of sex and murder. Your life is like a freaking Tarantino movie.**_

~xOx~

"Oh shit!" When I heard Edward snicker behind me, I realized that I had blurted that out loud. I turned and walked out of the closet. "Hush, you." I pointed my finger at him and smiled.

"Okay, so, I got Charlie season tickets to the Mariners from us. I know he'll love that." I dropped down on the bed next to him.  
>"I got Ang a new sweater and bottle of perfume that she likes to wear. I didn't get anything for Casanova. Um, Mike, I mean." I pulled at my hair, yanking it up into a sloppy ponytail and twisted a black rubber band into place.<p>

"Oh! Edward, what about Ben?" His forehead creased in thought. "Ben is Ang's boyfriend. Maybe we should get something for him too? He was at the wedding." I exhaled a loud breath and fell back on the bed. "So much to do, so little time to do it."

With my eyes closed I started making note of the things we needed to get done before we left in the morning.

"We need to hunt tonight. Maybe in the morning before we leave too?" I cracked one eye open and smiled as turned to look at me.

"I know I know.. I need to chill out. It's all good. I know. Are you sure you can do this? It's completely okay if we stay here. I understand if maybe it's too soon and too much." He leaned back next to me with a smile. His eyes sparkled a warm golden hue with small specks of green peaking through. My breath caught and I rested my hand on his cheek.

"Your eyes." I tiled my head. "They've been lightening, but wow. They look, bright. I can see green in there." A little bit of what once was, peeking out.

~xOx~

"**Brighter? Yeah?" I looked into her eyes, enamored by the subtle changes in color throughout. They were darkening slightly from thirst and she was right, we would need to hunt soon. **

**Taking advantage of her position on the bed, I quickly moved over. Hovering above her face, straddling her hips, I nuzzled her nose the way she often did to mine. "Absolutely." I punctuated the words with kisses against her cheeks, her nose, her lips. "Way too much for me." I worked my way along her jaw. "Let's stay right here. All day. Every day."**

**Her delicate fingers locked behind my neck, pulling me closer. "Mariners. Mhm. Good." When my lips parted against the divot beneath her ear, a quiet moan escaped her lips as she wrapped her legs around mine. "Shop later," I spoke only when necessary, focusing on the breathtaking creature beneath me. "On... Island." **

"**Pack... later." My fingertips found the hem of her shirt and lifted it slowly. I felt her back arch, willing me closer. **

**I was more than happy to oblige. **

~xOx~

Play now. Pack later. Were all newlyweds this way? Is this just some fleeting thing? God I hope not. The things he does to me.

I tightened my legs around his waist and rolled us, sitting up, I ran my hands up under the thin soft cotton of his shirt and was rewarded with a low groan. I pushed the shirt up and traced a zig zag pattern of kisses over his stomach, up his ribs. His hands were warm on my hips.

"Yes." I kissed his chin. "Pack later." My lips dragged along his jaw to his ear.

"Play now."

My lips covered his and I knew that I would never ever tire of this.

"_You are my sweetest downfall_

_I loved you first, I loved you first_

_Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads_

_But they're just old light, they're just old light_

_Your hair was long when we first met"*_

*Regina Spektor - Samson


	15. Chapter 15

"I'd like to hire a plane

I'd see you in the morning

When the day is fresh

I'm coming home again"

**I arranged for a native pilot as little bit of added insurance. Bella had one suitcase entirely dedicated to gifts, which I loaded into the Jeep while she showered. There was a garment bag, which I assumed had her favorite suit tucked inside, and a suitcase we packed together. She stepped out of the shower, smelling like cookies and Christmas, and I leaned into the bathroom.**

"**Hey, uh..." I stammered, catching sight of her flawless form still wet from the shower.**

_**God I love this woman.**_

"**I forgot what I was going to say," I finished sheepishly. "But you..." I moved toward her, kissing a bead of water off her neck, "are beautiful. And I love you." She smiled, thanking me with a slow, deliberate kiss just chaste enough to stop me from further advancements, pointing out the time on the clock.**

**With a quiet groan I kissed her forehead and went to get another bag when it popped back into my head. "Bella? Are we going to... share a meal... with Charlie, while we're in Forks?" She stepped out of the bathroom, perplexed. "What I mean is... is he going to want to... hunt... **_**together?**_**" **

**I hadn't truly been around Charlie since the change. He was in the house at some point, that much I knew, but Charlie didn't hover. He was all about comfortable distance. But, it was Christmas and, well, I didn't know much about the whole vampire Christmas thing.**

"**What do you guys do to celebrate, usually?" I gave her a pointed glare. "Don't even say you collect reindeer in a pen."**

**My mind went to seeing our old friends on New Year's Eve. "Plus, Mike is totally going to think something is up if I'm not drinking on New Years." I proceeded with caution, knowing full well I was going to open myself up to heckling. "What happens if we drink? **_**Can **_**we drink?"**

**I cringed internally, waiting for her response and inevitable laughter.**

~xOx~

I held back on the smile that threatened.

_Deer in a pen. Charlie would love it._

"Um, Charlie and I never, errr, eat together. I mean, we have, in the past, but not in years and years. Not even for holidays." I let my smile show when relief flashed through his eyes.

I slipped my jeans on and buttoned them as I continued talking.

"Usually, we open a gift on Christmas Eve, watch cheesy movies and just hang out." I pulled a light blue tank over my head. "Christmas day, we open the rest of our gifts and I have to watch A Christmas Story. It's a must." I pulled my arms through a long sleeved black and white fitted flannel shirt and started buttoning it and sat on the bed to pull my socks and shoes on.

"Alcohol?" I tied the first shoe. "I have never had it before." I let my foot slide to the ground and lifted the other, twisting the laces into a bow. "But, I have known others that do." I smiled when his eyes lit up.

"I couldn't tell you what it tastes like, because I never drank when I was human, so I don't know if that flavor changes when you," I shrugged. "change."

I stood from the bed, pulling my hair into a rubber band at the nape of my neck.

"Maybe, we could try that, tonight? I mean, if you want?"

~xOx~

_**Hell YES we can try that tonight!**_

**I shrugged, concealing my giddiness at this little experiment. "Sure. I'm game." **

_**Heightened senses... Cheap date? Or no blood, no blood alcohol level? This would be interesting.**_

**Relieved by her explanation, I started getting the last few things together. "A Christmas Story?" I racked my brain for some memory of that movie. "I think I've seen that, but it's been years." I walked over, wrapping my arms around her waist. "Anything you want," I added with a grin.**

**We took a moment, reveling in the last private moment we would have for hours.**

**"Ready?" I sighed lightly, not wanting to share her with the world again.**

_Drink up baby, look at the stars_

_I'll kiss you again between the bars_

_Where I'm seeing you there with your hands in the air_

_Waiting to finally be caught_

_Drink up one more time and I'll make you mine_

_Keep you apart, deep in my heart_

_Separate from the rest, where I like you the best_

_And keep the things you forgot**_

Our pilot wreaked of wet, oily, fish.

_Oh god. _

I snuck a glance at Edward and witnessed the first green skinned vampire. His top lip curled slightly in disgust and I could see his eyelids flutter behind his dark sunglasses.

I leaned into him and whispered, "Good thinking." I tucked my nose almost into his armpit as we took our seats. I felt his stomach lurch once under my hand before he stopped breathing all together. Smart man.

He raised one hand and twisted to pull the hood of his sweatshirt on.

"You aren't going to smell like him." I whispered as we began taxiing down the runway. He made a groaning sound and I pressed my face into his side to stifle my giggle.

Paul, our pilot, was very nice. Talked to us on and off from the cockpit as we flew into Seattle. When we landed, I thanked him for the flight as Edward inhaled deeply from the fresh air outside the plane.

~xOx~

_**That sucked.**_

**There was absolutely no risk I was going to drain the pilot. It became apparent to me, in the forty foot Cessna, that I had never actually been **_**in **_**the room with the movers. As the warm air circulated, the smell grew more and more intense. I tried to test the waters, so to speak, and nearly lost my reindeer lunch. **

**I breathed deeply as I exited the plane onto the tarmac, pretending to hold Bella's hand to help her down the steps. Laughter shook my shoulders at the thought of how absurd the notion was.**

"**Sasquatch!" I blurted. Bella's head whipped around in fear and I lost it, laughter cut through the cold night air and bouncing off hangars in the distance. **

"**No! Not HERE," I barely managed to speak. "I mean, the music festival. I could get the guys tickets to it as their Christmas gift." I nodded once in appreciation for my genius idea, then laughed again at Bella's reaction.**

**Bella arranged for Charlie to bring the Swagger Wagon up to the airport and I loaded the luggage quickly before getting in. It actually felt**_** warm **_**in Seattle. That was a strange sensation. **

_~xOx~_

_What in the hell is he yelling about Sasquatch?_

My head swiveled around taking in our surroundings. Did he see something?

Does he have Tourettes? Oh my god. Did Edward have a tick? I stared at him as he doubled over in laughter. The rich sound echoed and warmed me.

I rolled my eyes and smacked his arm playfully.

"That's what you've been keeping in the whole way here?" I laughed. "I love you."

He tossed our bags into the car and opened the passenger side for me, dropping a kiss on my forehead before moving quickly to his side. He slid effortlessly behind the wheel of the car and inhaled deeply.

I could still smell a very faint human Edward scent. It lingered in the interior along with tobacco and laundry soap. I watched as recognition dawned on him. I smiled and nodded, he turned the key in the ignition and backed out of the parking space.

"So, before we go too far, I was thinking, maybe we could go to Mercer for the night?" I let my hand drop on his leg. So many memories flew through my mind, emotions filled and threatened to burst my quiet heart.

I was absolutely giddy when the garage door slid open, welcoming us back. Edward turned the car off and sat. He stared at the door leading into the house and his lips pulled back on one side, into a very sexy crooked grin.

I waited for him to make the first move, to open his door and slide out of the car. Before he got both feet on the ground, I was standing next to him. His fingers found mine and knotted together. We walked into the quiet dark house and both let out a small sigh at the same time and then laughed.

"Welcome home, husband." I peered up at him in the dark and then quickly pulled him through the room, unlocked the door to the deck and walked him outside to a chair. As he sat, I wrapped myself up in his lap, his arms circling me.

"It's good to be here, with you." I felt completely overwhelmed being back at the house.

* * *

><p>*Dashboard Confessional - A Plain Morning<p>

**Elliott Smith - Between the Bars


	16. Chapter 16

_"I'm dreaming tonight of a place I love_

_Even more than I usually do_

_And although I know it's a long road back_

_I promise you_

_I'll be home for Christmas_

_You can count on me_

_Please have snow and mistletoe_

_And presents by the tree"*_

**We sat there in the car for a minute, soaking it all in. The memories. The familiarity. Cigarettes and coffee, shampoo, dryer sheets, Bella, Charlie, and me. Human me? I looked at Bella and she answered my silent question. Her fingers found the dial on the stereo and turned it to the Christmas station before resting her hand against my thigh.**

**On the drive, I tried to wrap my mind around the fact that only a month had passed since the wedding. It seemed both like yesterday and decades ago. We were bound by so much that it felt like there had never been a time in my life before she was here. As if - somehow - we had always been together. Immortal time... painfully slow yet one continuous day that seems to stretch on for miles.**

**We drove over the bridge toward the island and a faint, dusky memory came through my mind of our first time making the drive to Grams's house. Bella, so nervous, but happy. As we pulled into the drive, I hoped Bella didn't notice the out of place lighting. It would have been appropriate, had Jasper still been alive. But not now.**

**Sitting in the garage, I took a second to get my bearings. Bella seemed a little overwhelmed, too, vibrating with excitement. More than any other place in the world, this was **_**our **_**home. Everything good had happened here. And it felt like all was right with the world. She led me through the house, barely giving me time to deactivate the alarm before she pulled me onto the deck, taking her place on my lap in the swing. **

**I inhaled deeply, the hint of salt in the air, wet moss, chlorine in the hot tub, teak oil, and my girl. I wanted to bottle it up and consume it with my mind so that I could never forget this combination. Home.**

"**This calls for celebration, no?" I said with a smirk. "I'll be right back." I grinned a lopsided grin and she pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, and smiled back. **

**The wine cellar had been left untouched after Grams died. It was more her husband's hobby than her own and it became a sort of monument to him. A place where she would go when she wanted to be alone with her thoughts. **

**Organized by type, then vintage, I moved to the champagne. "Celebration. Champagne," I said with a nod of approval. I slid out one of the newest bottles, a 1989 Krug Clos du Mesnil. From the year I was born. **

_**Apparently it was a good year for blood. She seemed to like my vintage.**_

**I ran my finger along the tops, pulling out a bottle on occasion to check the vintage. One caught my eye. A 1955 Piper Heidsieck. The year Bella would have turned 21. And shortly after a 1952 Roederer Rose, the year of her **_**other **_**birth. **

**I carried all three upstairs, placing them in ice to chill. I carried the wine bucket and laced two champagne glass stems through my fingers, returning to Bella's side. "I think you'll like these," I said with a smile, wondering if she'd recognize the years.**

~xOx~

I sat quietly, waiting for Edward to return.

The water moved in soft lulling patterns. The cool damp breeze washed over my face, bare arms and toes. There was something soothing, calming and utterly uncomplicated about being here. I had never really called one place, home, before. Due in part to the fact that I left all the time. I mean, I had my place in Alaska, and in Forks with Charlie, other than that, I just traveled around. Staying here and there. Perhaps I never really considered these other two places home because I never felt a real connection to them.

Edward connected me to everything here.

Where I fell in love with him. Where he surprised me and loved me back. I celebrated a birthday here, I got married here. Edward became mine, forever, here. But it was more than that. It was the way everything sounded, tasted and felt. It was home. I was home here. No matter where we went, as long as Edward was there, it would be home, but this... this was our real home. And I was already dreading having to leave again.

_Come on, Bella, it's Christmas, joyful and happy. Get over yourself._

I sighed quietly as I heard Edward moving back through the house. The tiny tinkling noise of glass touching glass rang in my ears as he emerged from the darkened room onto the porch. With his new eyes, I noticed he quite frequently left lights off these days. Probably without notice. The thought brought a smile to my face as he lifted the glasses in my direction and sat next to me.

I took in the sight of three glass bottles nestled into a bucket of ice.

"Are we going to drink all of that?" I raised an eyebrow at him. I mean, what did I know? I had seen others partake in this human past time, I had seen them laughing and acting out of the norm. I had seen Edward, human, with his senses twisted by alcohol. How his eyelids would become heavy after a few drinks. His pulse would change and his voice would become lower. But he always seemed, more, aware in those moments. If that makes sense. He didn't become out of control at all, everything was just slower and his awareness shone through his eyes right into my own. That in itself was intoxicating. Would it be the same?

I reached over and pulled a now wet bottle from its icy bed, I read the label and tilted my head.

"Nineteen eighty nine, hm? I would have to say this is probably going to be my favorite." He smiled a goofy little grin and took the champagne from my hands to open it.  
>The cork popped loudly and a misty white fog escaped the opening. He poured carefully, two glasses, handing one to me.<p>

"Here's to, first times, magical moments and love. Merry almost Christmas, Edward." I leaned in and kissed his soft lips as he muttered something about it being very merry.

The glass was chilled from the drink and night air, perspiration dripped down toward the stem as I tilted the bubbly drink toward my lips.  
>Every tiny bubble popped and fizzed on my tongue. My nose wrinkled in response and Edward laughed quietly. I looked at his glass and it was already half gone. Guess he likes it.<p>

The flavors danced around, it wasn't my most favorite drink, that's for sure, but I could taste what was a fruity flavor with a hint of... My thoughts broke off as I licked my lips, oh, apple.

Not wanting to be left behind, I quickly finished the glass, bit back on the awkward bitter flavor it left behind and asked for another.

_"Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep,_

_this air is blessed, you share with me._

_This night is wild, so calm and dull,_

_these hearts they race, from self control._

_Your legs are smooth, as they graze mine,_

_we're doing fine, we're doing nothing at all."**_

"**Merry Christmas, my beautiful wife. To new things, and old." I added with a smirk, touching our glasses lightly. When you hear sommeliers talking about undertones and finishes, half the time it sounds like they're making it up. Black pepper with a hint of raspberry and chocolate? No, but I can taste red wine.**

**So, I was surprised when the first half of the glass hit my hyper-sensitive taste buds. Vanilla, as if someone laid a Madagascar vanilla bean against my tongue. Apple, like biting into a juicy honeycrisp in the middle of October. Honey lingered in my mouth after the bubbles were long gone. I felt alive.**

**"Interesting," I muttered, quickly filling our glasses again, then repeating the process, picking up hints of this and tastes of that. Mint? Melon. Honeydew. Almonds? Cream. I licked my lips, which Bella took as a welcome invitation. Our breath mingled creating the most delicious taste of them all, her tongue laced with apples, vanilla, and...**

_**caramel.**_

**I moaned quietly into her mouth, deepening the kiss. Buttery, vanilla caramel. Between deep, intense kisses, we emptied the bottle. Experimenting with this range of tastes and sensations we had never experienced before. **

**Popping the cork on the Piper, we immediately filled our glasses to dissect the flavors. It was dry. **_**Very**_** dry. Bella didn't like it a bit, I could tell from her expression. I took her glass from her hand, pouring it back into the ice. "Let's try the Roederer," I offered. **

**The alcohol mingled with the gluttonous hunt from earlier in the day, to prepare for the long flight home. I began to feel it warming inside my core the way a glass of scotch did in my human life. Bella's eyes looked a little glazed, the corners of her lips turned up ever so slightly. She twisted strands of my hair around her fingers and bit her lip as she nodded. **

_**She's feeling it, too.**_

**The warmth hit my mouth in a burst of effervescence. More caramel, richer. Deeper. Brown sugar. Something hit my palette that was entirely human. Tea. Black tea. My mind fought to focus on the memory of Bella, sitting on the couch of my apartment, handing me a cup of hot tea. **

_**So much foggier now. **_

**My mind was moving slowly, as if the gears were fighting to turn. I filled our glasses again, the lingering Piper now completely gone from our mouths, and a mouth full of berries popped against my tongue with each bubble that burst. Currants. Raspberries. Blackberries. Bella tasted like strawberries with a touch of chocolate. Then, cherries. Toffee. **

_**Oh God I could do this all night. **_

"**Mmm," I moaned, pulling back slightly, licking my lips. "We need more, hm?" Bella nodded, her eyes heavy with lust and glazed from the alcohol. She leaned in for another kiss, slow and deliberate, then nodded again with a breathy plea.**

**I stood and wavered slightly before returning to the house. Carefully selecting one of Bella's favorite playlists, I turned on the external speakers and returned to the wine cellar to give my wife everything she wanted and more.**

_"A taste of honey_

_Tasting much sweeter than wine_

_I will return, yes I will return_

_I'll come back for the honey and you"***_

*Michael Buble - I'll Be Home For Christmas  
>** Dashboard Confessional - Hands Down<br>***The Beatles - Taste of Honey


	17. Chapter 17

"_I give my world to you._

_Locked up so tight._

_You drive me crazy._

_Crazy is all right, with you looking at me_

_You make me feel high._

_Every single thing you do to me, is like I'm drunk._

_I do my best for you I do."_

* * *

><p>Everything was hot. My insides felt warm and full. Eyes heavy and worn. I tilted my head and looked around in the darkness. The world was humming with sweet nighttime music. I stood, my bare feet almost chilled as they hit the wooden floor. I let out a soft giggle.<p>

_Where did he go?_

I licked my lips, vanilla and berries and spiced Edward lingered causing my insides to twist.

_Oh, yes, to get more. _

I stared up at the silvery moon, a billion tiny glowing crystal stars strung together around the sky like a diamond necklace. And then they swirled and I giggled again.

I heard him move behind me. I turned and felt the air move around my arms and face in a slow muddied dance. Such odd sensations.

He placed two more bottles on the table and reached for my glass. Chlorine filled my nose on the breeze and memories swam in around my head.

I grabbed him and pulled him into my lips.

_I want you._

Pulling at his lip with my teeth.

_I need you._

My tongue danced with his. My hands found his face.

_Remember._

I felt his muscles tighten through his body as I pushed a memory through him with no warning.

The water in the hot tub making me warm. His wet fingers moving over my bare stomach. The dark night sky above. Skin. His hot soft skin on mine. Slow down. Careful. Green eyes. I love.

_Lost myself just thinking about the two of us._

_From each other drinking,_

_Begin with the lips_

_Fingertips and kissing_

_Turn me inside out._

_I do my best for you. _

I pulled back, my chest moving rapidly, the alcohol and memories, Edward. It was all consuming.

I peeled my shirt off and tossed it aside without thinking before pushing my jeans over my hips.

I took off toward the hot tub.

"You coming?" I felt my step falter under the influence of the alcohol, but I kept walking.

~xOx~

**I stepped onto the deck, placing two new bottles on the table. I blinked slowly, focusing on the dark shadow of my wife standing nearby. Her head was tilted all the way back, hair moving slightly in the breeze, looking up at the stars. Lost in a daydream. **

**Then, as if time had jumped, her sweet toffee apple tongue pressed past my lips. Tiny fingertips twisted through my hair, urging me nearer. My girl knew exactly what she wanted and she was going to get it. **

"**Crazy how it feels tonight **

**Crazy how you make it all alright love **

**You crush me with the things you do **

**I do for you anything too**

**Sitting smoking feeling high **

**In this moment it feels so right"**

**Hooded eyes looked up at me with an intensity I had never seen. They flashed quickly, widening for a split second, and she took my lip between her teeth. I groaned, my entire body engulfed in need. Fingers moved against my face as she tilted her head, pushing her tongue deeper into my mouth. Electricity ran through me like a current, her memories pulsing through my mind. Her body, warm and wet in the water, wrapping her strong legs around my hips. Slowly guiding. Touching. Tasting. **

"**Lovely lady **

**I am at your feet **

**God I want you so badly" **

**Bella released my face and my head lolled back, eyes falling closed. The taste of Bella and champagne clung to my mouth. Her fingertips grazed the length of my chest. She smiled crookedly, slowly licking her lips. I resisted the urge to rip off every shred of clothing between us.**

**Desire surged through my body. I felt like I would combust. Then, nothing. Just the hot electricity that ran along the surface of my skin. I heard movement and my eyes opened to the sight of Bella moving toward the hot tub, her clothes at my feet. I tore my shirt off, tossing it aside and following suit, stepping out of my jeans. Sliding my thumb along the cork, I opened another bottle of champagne. **

"**Watch the sunrise to fill our souls up **

**Drink some wine 'till we get drunk"**

**As I slipped into the warm water, I tipped the bottle to Bella's mouth, pressing my tongue past her lips as she swallowed. Her fingertips raked along my back before she flipped me over, straddling my lap. She took the bottle from my hand and poured it slowly into my mouth, her tongue seeking what was left on my lips. **

"**Here I'm dancing on the ground **

**Am I right side up or upside down **

**Is this real or am I dreaming **

**Lovely lady **

**Let me drink you please **

**I won't spill a drop I promise you"**

**Unable to hold back any longer, I placed my hands on her hips, pulling her closer. Our eyes locked, still heavy from the effects of the alcohol, filled with need. With painfully delicious determination she lowered herself onto me. My eyes rolled back, her name spilling out of my mouth as I exhaled.**

"**Lying under this spell you cast on me **

**Each moment **

**The more I love you **

**Crush me **

**Come on"****

_**Don't stop. Don't ever stop.**_

~xOx~

It was almost like a dream.

We were lying tangled in torn sheets and battered pillows in bed. Dawn was lighting the sky and the bedroom through the open window.

I rolled to admire the bare-skinned man next to me. His eyes were closed but a small smile tripped along his lips.  
>My mouth moved in a line over his shoulder into the crook of his neck placing several tiny kisses over the scar that matched perfectly to my teeth.<p>

A small sigh escaped him and my lips curled.

"Merry Christmas Eve." I rolled on top of him and nuzzled my nose against his. I whispered against his lips, "You are amazing." I kissed him slowly, my brain still half hazy from having devoured so much alcohol the night before. I figured after a good hunt, everything would be back to normal.

I pulled my face from his, and noticed that sun shone soft on his skin. His eyes lit up as he noticed the shards of light dancing around the room. I sat up over him and watched as he raised a hand, inspecting the glowing skin. I laced my fingers through his.

"Same."

His eyes jerked back to mine at the statement and he smiled. A satisfied, proud amused look. As quick as it came, the sun went, hiding behind dense fog and clouds.

"We should shower and then get ready to go to Charlie's. I want to pick up a tree up on the way. Mmkay?" He nodded and I dragged him off to a hot shower.

"Maybe we should, eat, before we go too." I laughed quietly at the chaotic mass of hair that framed his face. Certainly I was no prize, I gazed at myself in the mirror.

_Oh yes, I wasn't going to be winning any beauty contests today._I groaned as I patted at my snarled nest of hair.

Edward twisted the shower on as I brushed my teeth. As soon as I dropped the brush back in its holder, his strong arms wrapped around my bare waist and hauled me backwards into the hot spray.

_Heaven. This is heaven._

His fingers worked through my hair with shampoo and then conditioner. Suds fell around my shoulders and raced down my back. The light mint scent helped to revive me, my body became more alert, aware. As if he were washing away everything I had ingested last night.

We showered in near silence after I took my turn and ran my fingers through his coppery mess. I left a small smattering of airy kisses along his shoulders.

Edward wrapped a huge green towel around me as we stepped out of the tub. Smiling to himself, his hand rubbed over the back of his neck and his eyes flickered to the ground.

"Thank you. For everything. You make it all so much easier." I smiled up at him.

_I was takin' a walk, when I saw you pass by_

_I thought I saw you lookin' my way_

_So I thought I'd give you a try_

_When I saw you smile, I saw a dream come true_

_So I asked you, maybe, baby whatcha gonna do?_

_'Cause I have been waitin' for a long long time_

_For a boy like you.***_

* * *

><p>*Dave Matthews Band - Rapunzel<p>

**Dave Matthews Band - Crush

*** She & Him - I Was Made For You


	18. Chapter 18

"It's coming on Christmas

They're cutting down trees

They're putting up reindeer

And singing songs of joy and peace

I wish I had a river I could skate away on"

**Utterly at peace. Completely at home. Christmas music playing. Bella beside me in the Volvo, twisted in her seat the way she always was. Legs tucked beneath her. Head on my shoulder. Palm against my stomach. Everything right with the world. **

"**But it don't snow here **

**No, it stays pretty green"**

**A tree was tied to the roof, the smell of pine filling the car. Bella had accumulated quite a collection of ornaments over the years, she assured me. So, it was just us and the tree. Bella had a blissful look on her face, slightly sedated, eyelids still heavy from pleasure. I hoped Charlie wouldn't notice our afterglow.**

"**And she loved me all naughty **

**Made me weak at the knees"***

**Her eyes met mine and she smiled slightly, thoughts of last night running through both our minds. Nothing could ruin this day. Everything about it was perfect. **

**I pulled into Charlie's driveway and stepped outside, snapping the rope that held the tree to the roof. Bella walked up to the door as it opened, welcomed by a smile from a familiar face. I lifted the tree over a shoulder and headed up to shake my father-in-law's hand. "Merry Christmas, Charlie," I said with a smile. He patted my shoulder, nodded once in appreciation, and we all headed into the living room.**

~xOx~

Today was turning out to be absolutely perfect in every way. When we got to Charlie's, Edward carried the tree in and as I peeked around the corner to the living room, I noticed that Charlie had already put out the tree stand and hung three stockings on the mantel. Two old, one new. I beamed.

"Thanks, dad." I wrapped arm around him and he squeezed me back.

"Anything for you, kid." He smiled down at me and then pointed to another corner where two boxes sat stacked on top of each other.

I ran over to them and pulled the top box open, musty scented dust filtered through the air causing me to back up for a moment. _Gross._ I waved my hand at the tiny particles dancing around my face and watched them swirl away.

"Dad, you need to find a better place for these boxes than the nasty attic." I don't think he was even paying attention to me, he and Edward had gone off to the kitchen and were discussing football or something. I shook my head and smiled as I went back to the treasures inside the cardboard boxes.

I got the sparkly white lights and shiny mirrored glass balls up on the tree before Charlie and Edward came back into the room. Edward was wearing a smile and Charlie looked rather pleased. _Men._My men. My family.

"You guys going to help me out over here or what?" I tossed a package of tinsel to Edward. "Get to work, mister. No play until the work is done." I laughed when he waggled an eyebrow at me with a 'come and get it' smirk. I laughed even harder and gave him my best, 'you wish' face.

I reached into the second box and pulled out a few, very used, candles and the glass hurricane holders to set them in. I placed them on the mantle and grabbed the fresh greenery that I had picked up when Edward and I had gotten the tree, and wove it along the length of the shelf.

I found the silver star topper and handed it to Charlie. He grumbled quietly in his loving way and dropped it on the tippy top of the tree.

I stood back and evaluated our work. It looked beautiful, but before I could say so, Edward launched himself over the back of the couch and dumped a handful of tinsel on my head and proclaimed it was time for play.

His eyes lit up a bright amber green and his smile went on for miles. He was truly happy, and my insides flipped and flopped.

~xOx~

**Charlie and I were very at ease around one another. It felt natural. To say I was relieved was a gross understatement. It was one thing to have friction between relatives when there were only a handful of decades, a couple dozen holidays. But, Charlie, Bella, and I would have hundreds. Potentially thousands of holidays. It was **_**really **_**important that he like me. **

**Because I had procrastinated so long, I had to order next day delivery. The doorbell rang and Bella went to answer it. Her laughter filled the living room and I walked up behind her to see what was going on. **

"**Is that..." I blinked my eyes, wondering if I was seeing correctly. There, on the lawn, was a man in a red suit trimmed in white fur. He leaned into the back, cursing his employer for making him wear a ridiculous costume, **_**as if working on Christmas Eve wasn't enough. **_**His humiliated thoughts were clear as could be as he muttered under his breath. **_**People can't even order their crap before Christmas week. Here's an idea, genius, order this shit ahead of time. Christmas comes every God damn year. On the same day. **_**He couldn't find the package and leaned further across only to release the flimsy costume-quality waistband. Fluffy red pants slid down, revealing quite the plumber crack. Bella and I choked on laughter. **

**As buttcrack santa drove off, Charlie excused himself, leaving us alone while he hunted. Bella came over to the couch and sat on my lap, curling her arm around my neck. "The tree looks great," I said as she nestled her head under my chin, resting against my chest. It still bothered her that there was no sound that remained, but she would acclimate to it quickly. The perks vastly outweighed the changes.**

**I slid my hand into my jacket pocket, laying on the back of the couch. I took her hand in mine and slid the red ribbon around her fingers. She held it up to get a look. A delicate crystal heart hung from the end. "It was my parents'," I began. "Grams got it for them. For their first Christmas."**

**Her eyes saddened slightly, the realization that my family was gone washing over her. She brushed her lips against mine, whispering a heartfelt I love you. She raised off my lap and immediately went to the tree. Lights hit the facets of the crystal, sending prisms of color around the room.**

"**Same," I said with a smile. **

~xOx~

I liked, 'same'. It was good. But I felt guilty for his gift. He had already given me the ultimate gift. That would last forever. Himself. And there was a part of me that was still in mourning for the loss of his humanity. For what he was and what I had done to make him what he is now. Logically, I knew, this was what he wanted. He was happy and he loved me. He wanted to be with me. And that made me giddy. But laying against him, the silence that echoed back at me pulled at something deep inside of me and almost made me ache. Was it normal to feel as if someone had died? Even though he was right here with me. I wasn't sure. And selfishly, I was beyond grateful that he was mine. How conflicted my thoughts and feeling were. It was as if I were being dragged in two directions. But when I looked at him, everything was perfect and just the way it should be.

We sat together on the couch as the sky grew dark and the twinkling lights from the tree lit up the corner of the room.

I leaned off of Edward's lap just enough to grab the tv remote from the coffee table. The screen blinked on and I channel surfed until I found the movie I was looking for.

"A Christmas Story." I whispered as I leaned back into Edward's arms. I love this movie. The soap poisoning bit always made me laugh.  
>Charlie came in more than half way through the movie and sat in the kitchen with a few files that needed to be gone over for work.<p>

Twisting to press my lips to Edward's ear, I spoke low and fast. "Can you hear him?"

~xOx~

**My eyebrows furrowed as I listened for Charlie's thoughts. "Mm, I don't think so." I concentrated harder. "I don't really know how... this... **_**thing...**_** works." Bella's eyes darted between mine, looking for some sign that I was tuned in to Charlie's thought channel.**

**I shrugged in defeat. "Nope. I guess that's where you get it," I said with a smile, kissing the top of her head. She laughed quietly throughout the movie and Charlie stuck to the kitchen, leaving us to our time curled up on the couch. I suppose we didn't make very interesting company. Not that I was complaining. I could spend forever like this, even with Charlie nearby. **

"Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy:

"Do you hear what I hear?

Ringing through the sky, shepherd boy

Do you hear what I hear?

A song, a song, high above the trees

With a voice as big as the sea

With a voice as big as the sea"**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N This chapter is short and is from Jame's POV.**

**The song, "The End" by Blue October is a very dark and angry song. Please know this before listening. **

**Thank you all again for the love and support. **  
><strong>QofH and MW<strong>

* * *

><p>"Winter Ale," I answered before the waitress asked, avoiding eye contact. A dark booth in the corner was enough of a vantage point for me to gauge who had way too much to drink. Easy to rid the world of those who are weak. No one seems to miss the drunks. The venom began to run freely in my mouth as I thought about the pulsing arteries that filled the room. I washed it down with a mouthful of beer as soon as she set it on the table.<p>

An obnoxious group of guys were shooting pool. I could hear every word of their stomach churning conversation. Apparently they couldn't get laid. I scoffed to myself.

_Lay off the tunafish, brother. Maybe you'll get some action if you brush your stank ass teeth._

Some local sat at the end of the bar, pickling his liver in cheap whiskey.

_Nah, they'd miss him. Everyone seems to know him. Recognizable. Unappetizing._

My stomach churned at the thought of his thin alcohol-laden blood leaving a fish oil film in my mouth.

_Moving on._

I surveyed the room for truckers, prostitutes, anyone who wouldn't be missed, when I heard her name from behind. My head tilted as I listened carefully to the virgin pool boys, picking out words. Bella. Too late. Married.

_MARRIED?_

My hands curled into fists. One was screwing with the big kid, saying he missed out on his chance. That she had a man living there now. A husband.

_Husband?_

Knowing these small-minded backwoods imbeciles, they thought Charlie was her husband.

_Or did they? Maybe they know something I don't. What have they seen?_

I thought about pinning them all against the wall by the throat, making them talk. But, that would draw attention. And I didn't like attention.

Tossing a five on the bartop, I walked out of the bar, breaking into a sprint as soon as I hit the tree line. The cabin was dark, no one home. No sign of her truck, but there were tracks in the snow from where her Jeep had been.

_Just the Jeep. No other cars. _

It didn't take long to find my jacket, discarded in the shed like trash. I moved to the window to look inside. No sign of anyone.

"_Here alone, standing barefoot in our lawn,_

_Worms squeezing their way through my toes_

_Tonight that's how it goes._

_I'm at your window kneeling quiet"_

I slid open the patio door to the bedroom to put it back on the chair, where it belonged. So she knew that I was watching her. Closely. Carefully. Always watching.

"_I squeezed the life into my brain_

_Like pushing knives into a vein_

_I've gotta get, I said I've gotta get inside_

_So to the back window I crawl in silent_

_Standing in the darkness of my living room_

_This used to be my home"_

_Tsk tsk, Bella. Don't you know to lock your windows and doors? You never know who..._

The scent of her human polluted my nose. I closed my eyes and inhaled, my head falling back.

_EDWARD._

The stench was closest at the couch. Her bedroom was contaminated by _his _presence. Everywhere. And the chair was gone.

The thought of trouble in her precious little paradise gave me a thrill. I walked into the closet. Nothing. Just his sloppy hoodies and worn jeans sitting beside my Bella's clothes. I ripped them from the bar, throwing them onto the floor.

"_I turn the doorknob with two fingers _

_to be slow enough to sneak into the room _

_among the corner darkness gloom"_

_His crap _was everywhere. I stormed into the living room, flinging the door open to walk out when something caught my eye on the Christmas tree.

_Our First Christmas. _

"_How far will I go to make it feel right?_

_"Come home"_

_I have to fix this on my own"*_

My teeth ground together, jaw clenching tightly as I took the ornament in my hand and crushed it to dust.

I seethed aloud.

"And your last."

* * *

><p>*Blue October - The End<p> 


	20. Chapter 20

"_I heard you fell into a rabbit hole,_

_Covered yourself up in snow_

_Baby, tell me where'd you go?_

_For days and days_

_Did they make you stay up all night?_

_Did they paint your face that pasty white?_

_You're thirsty but your appetite is chased away."_

I finally got in touch with Ang and we decided to go shopping on New Years Eve for dresses and anything else we might need for the party.  
>I drove the Beast into Port Angeles, singing and thinking about Edward. He had stayed at the house with Charlie. They were going to hunt and Edward said he would do our laundry. I mean really, he was going to do our laundry. How domestic. And I loved it. I loved that he did little things like that for me.<p>

I parked the truck and hopped out into the misty grey air. I quickly pulled my hood over my head, shoved my keys and phone into the pocket of my hoodie and made way to the store that Ang and I had said we would meet at.  
>Everything was closing semi early today for the holiday, which was fine, I didn't want to be gone long and I would have to prep and get dressed before everyone showed up at the house tonight.<p>

I smiled and waved briefly as I spotted her in front of the tiny shop and we hugged quickly before making our way in.

"Bella, you look amazing. I mean, so happy." She was smiling that thousand watt grin. Obviously things had been great for her over the last few months. "I've missed you though. I wish you guys had stayed here longer. Did you get settled with school out there?" She was going through racks of dresses at this point.

"Umm, yeh. School is going to be great. Edward is enjoying the scenery and learning about the locals." I snickered to myself, _fish breath_. "I'm really glad that we were able to get back here for Christmas and New Years. I've missed you too." I lifted a black dress from the rack eying it. "How are you and Ben?"

She proceeded to fill me in on school, Ben and her family. She really was the nicest person I had ever met.

We paid for our dresses and shoes and she dragged me quickly to another shop full of, I blinked, lingerie?

"We need something pretty to wear under our new dresses, right?" She winked at me and I laughed.

She talked me into a little something more than I would normally pick. Was a garter really necessary? Ang insisted it would be worth the expense, that it would blow Edward's mind. So, I caved and walked into the house later that afternoon with three bags.

Two small and one garment bag.

Edward tilted his head and grinned at me when I came in.

"Nuh uh, Superman. You aren't getting even a tiny peek until later. Way later. Like, after I'm dressed." I laughed at the crestfallen expression on his face and took off up the stairs to unload my packages.

~xOx~

**I followed closely behind, arching my neck as I tried to look in the bags. Light pink scented tissue poked out of the black bags, concealing whatever was held inside. She walked into her old bedroom, shooting me a warning glare. "What? I'd never..." I said with a smirk.**

**She held up a finger, cutting me off. "Okay, okay, I promise," I assured. Charlie was great, don't get me wrong, he definitely allowed us some distance and whatever privacy was possible. But, I was certain he could hear every word we were saying. Let alone any... activity... upstairs. We restrained. But I **_**really **_**missed our showers together. **

**Bella showered first and I worked quickly to wrap her gift while she was occupied, slipping it beneath the tree, way in the back where she wouldn't notice. When she stepped out of the bathroom in her robe, I passed slowly by, stealing a kiss from her still damp lips. By the time I was finished showering, she was dressed. Vampire speed often came in handy. **

"**You..." I walked over to where she was standing, wrapping my arms around her waist, being careful not to mess up her hair, "look freaking **_**hot.**_**"**

**Bella had arranged for caterers to deliver food so that we wouldn't have to mess up Charlie's kitchen. I brought several bottles of champagne from Grams's wine cellar and we rented stemware. Everything was handled. Bella set up her stereo on the main floor and Charlie started a fire in the old stone fireplace that seldom got use. **

"**So, guess what?" I said, getting my suit out of the garment bag, surveying her dress. I answered my own question with a self-satisfied smug. "I heard him."**

~xOx~

"You heard him? Like, his thoughts?" Edward nodded at me with a pleased look on his face.

"Huh, I wonder why you couldn't hear him before." I smoothed the bottom of my grey dress with my hand. "Interesting, no?" I looked up at him and watched as he buttoned one cuff of his shirt.

I moved my legs a little as I stepped into the silver heels Ang had talked me into. In all honesty, she had talked me into the whole outfit. I was going to go for basic black. As always. She insisted the strapless grey would be perfect. Edward seemed to like it. I just wasn't used to the garter thing. I could feel the silky straps that connected to the top of the stockings. I was thankful, once again, that Edward couldn't hear _my_ inner dialogue. I really wanted to surprise him tonight.

As soon as he was dressed we headed downstairs to check on Charlie. The caterers had done a great job. I was certain everyone was going to have plenty of food tonight. And booze. I think Edward brought the entire wine cellar with him. I laughed quietly and he squeezed my hand.

"Oh! I forgot the gifts! I'll be right back!" I ran up the stairs and back into my room. We had decided not to open gifts for Christmas and instead open them with all of our friends on New Years Eve. I was really excited to give Edward his gift. It wasn't anything really expensive or showy, but I knew it was something he would love. And it had taken me forever to get it all done.

I grabbed the packages and ran back into the living room, stashing them quickly under the tree and stepping back to stand next to Edward.

I looked up at him and smiled, but his face was contorted in thought.

"Edward?"

~xOx~

**I so badly wanted to find out what surprise she had in store for me. Alone. For hours. I slid my arms into the jacket Bella had picked out, her gift already planted safely inside my jacket.**

"**I love you. This has been the best Christmas I can ever remember," I said with a sincere smile. "Shall we, wife?" I held arm out and escorted her downstairs. **

**When we got downstairs, Charlie was pouring over files in his worn armchair. Bella cleared her throat and he stood, acknowledging the effort she had put into getting ready for the party. She seemed appreciative. As soon as he turned around to take the files into his bedroom, she looked at me with anticipation. I shrugged. **

"**Nothing," I mouthed. I guess he wasn't thinking about much. Or maybe he just spoke without thinking? That seemed typical for guys. **

~xOx~

I raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

"I'm going to run outside real quick and turn on the Christmas lights before everyone gets here." I reached up on my toes and kissed his cheek. "I can't wait to start this new year with you." I smacked his butt as I walked away. God I wanted to just rub up all over him, we were attempting to be respectful of Charlie and his house, but, damn!

I closed the front door behind me and breathed in the cool air. I could smell the smoke from the fire that Charlie had made and the fresh scent of pine. I couldn't believe that a new year was already upon us, and that this year included for me, the most wonderful man in the world.

I leaned over the edge of the porch and found the small power strip and flipped the switch. The yard came to life in white twinkly lights. The house was outlined in the drippy icicle lights and we had strung more white lights in the trees and bushes of the front yard. I stood for a moment just enjoying the sounds of the evening.

A soft breeze blew at my hair and I turned to head back into the house.

Edward was standing absolutely stone still as I entered, and before I could close the door, his face contorted once again.

"Are you okay?"  
>I was seriously beginning to wonder about him.<p>

~xOx~

**The second the door closed, I heard Charlie, mid-sentence. I was just about to turn around and ask him to repeat himself when I recognized the flat, breathless sound of a thought. The door swung back open and, again, silence. This time mid-word. As if someone pressed pause on his mind.**

**"Go back outside," I blurted out without thinking. "I mean, can you step outside again, just for one second, please? I want to see something."**

**She obliged, and sure enough, the same thing happened. Charlie's thoughts went something like, "-ring a black leather jacket, dark blue jeans, and tenni-" And that was it. Bella had opened the door again, this time walking over to me with a concerned look on her face. **

"_I hear a voice inside the silence_

_Speak your peace and all's forgotten_

_I hear the static on the line_

_Remember how this all got started"_

"**I'm fine, but I think..." the gears turned as I tried to figure out what was happening. "I think you're like... like a mute button." Her expression changed to skepticism. "No, I'm serious! You walk in and Charlie is silent. Nothing. Not a thought. And when you're gone, it's as clear as if he were speaking to me."**

"_I turn away a minute disappears_

_I turn away in shame when I don't hear_

_What you're thinking _

_Tell me what you're thinking"**_

* * *

><p><em>*Down In A Hole - Bright Eyes<em>

_**Tilted - Sugar_


	21. Chapter 21

"_You and I will always be together_

_Even when the winters turn to falls_

_And you and I should always remember_

_Even when we're broken down and done_

_And I suppose that there's no point in saying_

_But as long as mornings come and nights are long_

_We will always, now we will always have a song" _

"So, what you're saying is that I'm like a black hole for thoughts? I suck them right into oblivion?" I couldn't help the little laugh.  
>"I wonder how that works. I mean, I wonder why that happens with me." I frowned and looked up at him. "Is my head broken?" I winked and took his hand. "Lets see how it goes tonight with everyone here. I'm really curious now."<p>

Ang and Ben arrived first. As silly as it sounds, I had stuffed those heater packs into Edward's pockets in his jacket, they only worked once, but it warmed his hands enough for a quick handshake and then he wouldn't have to touch anyone for the rest of night, excluding myself.

Ben dropped gifts under the tree and then came over to wrap his arm around Ang. We were talking about school, classes. Edward's hand was holding mine in a vice-like grip. I looked up at him and he smiled, letting me know everything was fine. He and Charlie had gone out for a long hunt this afternoon and he had filled up, but I knew that it was hard for him to still be around people. Whether he was full or not.

There was a quick knock at the door and before I had a chance to move to open it, Casanova flung it open.

"Masen!" He had a huge a grin on his face as he yelled to Edward.

_Oh lord, please get me through the night. _

~xOx~

**I turned my head to take a deep breath, holding it in for as long as possible. "Newton, what's up, man?" I shook his hand and Bella was immediately at my side. He patted my bicep as he shook my hand, a pseudo hug/shake thing. His expression changed. **

"**Man! You been workin' out, dude?" Newton asked. "Your arms are hard as rocks," he added, flexing his flabby arms. I laughed nervously. "Yeah, something like that. Bella keeps me in good shape," I said with a smirk.**

"**Bella," our eyes met, "excuse me a moment. I'm just going to step outside." I kissed her forehead, reassuring her all was well. As I stepped onto the front porch I heard a flurry of activity coming from the kitchen. The caterers were putting food out and I _really _needed a cigarette. **

_**Why am I friends with someone like him anyway?**_

**I flicked the lighter, pulling air through the cigarette as it ignited. The smoke filled my stagnant lungs, pushing the stale air out. I pinched the bridge of my nose. This night was for Bella, entirely. I wasn't about to let on that I was completely miserable. I had become a hermit in my immortal age, desperate to kick all these people, and their thoughts, out of the house and go home with my wife. **

_**Just drain them all. They're almost outnumbered. **_

**I pushed the thoughts out of my head with another drag. The door opened a crack and Charlie stepped onto the porch beside me. "Those things'll kill ya," he deadpanned. "Yeah, that's what I hear," I retorted. "Lucky for me, I have a hell of a health insurance policy." **

**His strong hand cupped against my shoulder. "You hanging in there, kid?" he asked, concerned. "Yeah," I nodded slowly. "I'll be okay. I just needed a minute out here." Charlie nodded slightly. "If you need to get out of here just say the word. I'll find some way." He slipped back into the door before I could answer. **

~xOx~

I watched the door close behind him and plastered the best smile I could on my face. I wondered though if maybe I just looked a little constipated.

_Please be okay. Please be okay. Stupid Bella. So stupid. _

Charlie excused himself silently with a smile and nod and I was officially alone with everyone.

Jessica and Mike were on the couch giggling over drinks already and Ang was eying me in a way that made me a little uncomfortable, like she wanted to ask if everything was okay, but didn't dare.  
>I sighed and composed myself.<p>

_No biggie. It's all good._

"Are you guys hungry? The food should be ready to go and there are drinks in the kitchen." My eyes flashed to Casanova on the couch who had already finished a glass of wine. _Hobo._

How did he and Edward meet and how did they remain friends after that meeting. I tried to be kind and shrug it off, but I felt a little tense about the evening now and had a feeling it would only get worse.

I took Mike's cue and walked off to the kitchen with Ang and Ben and got myself a glass of champagne.

"I've never seen you drink, Bella." Ang smiled. "It must be good." She was trying so hard to make conversation.

"I don't drink." I laughed. "But Edward had me try some of this the other night and it was to my liking."  
>She and Ben each took a small plate and filled it with goodies and a glass of champagne as well. As we walked back into the living room, Charlie was just coming back from outside. He looked at me and nodded before saying hello to everyone else again. Ang expressing her gratitude for hosting the small party in his home.<p>

I finished off my drink in another swallow and went back for a second.

~xOx~

**After chain smoking five cigarettes I decided I'd better rejoin the party. I checked my pocket for Bella's gift and headed back inside, putting my game face on with a deep breath in.**

**Finding my way to Bella's side was easy. She gave me a worried glance, then stood on her toes to reach my mouth. As her lips parted against mine I could taste the champagne. **

_**Oh god she's drinking again. We are SO not staying at Charlie's tonight.**_

**I leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Hello, gorgeous. I can't wait to get you alone later." My hands slid to her hips and her bottom lip went between her teeth with a grin as she looked up at me through her eyelashes.**

**Newton shouted something from the living room about gifts. I wanted to whisk Bella off upstairs and began to calculate how long we could be gone without it being noticed. She took my hand in hers and pulled me into the living room, setting me down on Charlie's chair. I looked around the room.**

_**No Charlie.**_

**I tried to listen to his thoughts but there was nothing. I heard faint voices coming from the other room. Probably Charlie on the phone. Newton was sitting on the couch, already half-cocked. His face was shiny, bloated. He looked slightly yellow, like his liver was failing. **

_**Have another.**_

**He and the Dumpster Diva were quite the pair. She was in some trashy red dress with sweat stains. I shuddered to think of what other stains were present in her attire. Her heels came to a point that would stab an ant. **

_**Working at Pole Position, I see.**_

**Angela was always nice. A quiet girl. She and Ben seemed to get along well. But, let's be honest here. I'm not exactly looking for a human friend these days. Moving on from my friendship with Newton became my New Year's resolution.**

~xOx~

I smiled sweetly at Edward as he sat in the chair, leaned in and whispered, "I promise to send everyone away as soon as possible. And then, you and I are going somewhere private to celebrate the new year." I kissed his cheek and turned, grinning at the rest of our guests.

"Gifts!" I could feel the four glasses of champagne working their magic. It wouldn't last long, so as my eyes found the clock and saw that it was already eleven thirty, I sent a silent prayer to Baby New Year himself in hopes that somehow the time would go even faster.

After everyone had shared gifts, I grabbed the box that I had wrapped for Edward, I began to get nervous that maybe it wasn't going to be good enough, and at the same time, I was beginning to feel that it was more of a private thing that I wanted to share with him, alone.

His eyes were on me though, his lips tilted into a smile and his eyebrow lifted ever so slightly as if inviting me in. How could I resist?

You don't. You go to him. Because there is no one on this planet that matters more.

I sat lightly in his lap and handed him the box. There was a large blue ribbon holding it closed.

He kissed my neck gently once, assuring me he was going to love whatever was inside.

The ribbon fell open with a tug and he lifted the lid.

Inside, lay hundreds of pages of hand lined blank sheet music in a nice bundle with a small piece of skinny rope holding them together.

~xOx~

**My fingers ran along the smooth pages. "A blank slate," I said with a smile. "A new year of possibilities." My arm slipped around her waist, pulling her in. "Thank you," I said, for only her ears. "I love it. And I love you."**

**I decided to hold off on the gift hidden in my pocket. I would wait until I got her alone. It was only fair. The champagne had taken effect and she was definitely feeling good. Her fingertips ran along the crease of my pants as she smiled playfully.**

_**For the love of all that is holy... leave... all of you. Just go. Thanks for coming, I need to get my wife naked... right... now. **_

**I shifted slightly in my seat, noticing the clock had hit quarter till. "Oh, I almost forgot." I reached under the tree and tossed envelopes to Ben and Newton. "A little delayed gratification," I said with a smirk.**

**Bella hopped up to fill glasses for everyone to toast at midnight. I caught up with her between the kitchen and the living room. I opened my mouth to speak and she backed me into the wall,** **pressing her body against mine. "Bella..." I exhaled soundlessly. She** **silenced me immediately, her tongue moving with mine, her fingers sliding up my sides, beneath my jacket. **

**Her mouth tasted of strawberries and vanilla sugar and I stifled a quiet moan, pulling back reluctantly, leaving our foreheads touching. Her hands rested against my chest, still concealed by my jacket. **

"**I _really _want to leave now. But, we have four guests in the living room who might find it rude. Just... God... just, hold that thought, okay? I promise... _promise... _I will make it up to you." **

**She bit her lip and sashayed off to the kitchen to pour more champagne.**

_**Kill me now. Again. **_

* * *

><p><em>*Haunt - Love Song<em>


	22. Chapter 22

"_Meet me at my window_

_At my window_

_I could use a hero right now_

_You could use someone to save_

_Someone like me_

_Someone who's not brave_

_Someone who's not free_

_Meet me at my window"_

* * *

><p>Had I just cornered and felt my husband up in the kitchen?<p>

_Holy crap, Bella!_

I poured drinks and found my way back into the living room with everyone else. Edward and I stood next to each other as we all watched the ball lower in Times Square on tv. Everyone started chanting, counting from 10. I took a long pull from the glass.  
>9... 8... I looked up at Edward.<br>7...6...5... He was staring at me.

4...3... He licked his lips.

2... I stopped breathing.

1... His arms went around my waist, lifting me from the floor.

He mumbled happy new year as his lips crushed mine. My eyes closed and my body caught fire when his tongue met mine. He tasted like tobacco and fizzy berries and chili powder and my mind went blank and my fingers curled possessively into the back of his hair.

"_Come on, you could change me_

_You could steal me_

_You could turn all the lights on_

_And show me the real me_

_Then maybe, if I'm lucky_

_You'll offer me protection_

_You could even heal me_

_Just meet me at my window"_

We were both brought back to reality when we heard Mike clear his throat loudly.

_Oops._

_See what happens when you act like a horny teenager, Bella. _

Charlie came into the room from the kitchen, and nodded to me once, in a gesture I knew meant he wanted to talk to me.

Oh shit! Was I going to get a lecture on dry humping in front of company?

I squeezed Edward's hand and followed Charlie into the kitchen and out the back door.

_Please, Baby New Year, if you really exist, don't let Charlie and I have this awkward talk. _

"_With the darkness, cometing down_

_I could use your, saving now_

_Meet me at my window_

_Meet me at my window_

_I will wait for you there_

_I will talk to you, no_

_When there's no one around"*  
><em>

"**Happy New Year, Bella," I said as her lips met mine. Restraint flew out the window as she melded her body to mine, aggressively gripping my hair. Her face tilted, deepening the kiss. For a minute there, I forgot anyone else was in the room. It's a really good thing Newton reminded us because it was about to get Dumpster Diva in there.**

_**Welp, thanks for coming everyone. Now see yourselves out.**_

**As Bella stepped outside, the pause button came off and the thoughts began swirling around my head. **

_**Three human friends, two resentful caterers, and a bartender that is tipsy.**_

**Clearly _my _thoughts about Bella were commonplace. From what I could hear, the caterers had all kinds of plans after this event. Ben and Angela had a hotel room - the disadvantage of living at home still, I supposed. And Newton - his thoughts needed an NC-17 rating. Even I cringed as he went on and on about garter belts and doggy style. Just as I was about to tune him out something caught my attention. _If she was _MY_ wife..._**

_**What did he just say?**_

_**Maybe he's thinking of getting -**_

**My thoughts were interrupted by a very clear word from his mind... _Bella._**

**Venom rushed through my mouth as my jaw clenched, hands closed into fists. **

_**What. The. Fuck? He was thinking about... Bella! **_

_**He wants to do those depraved, perverse things to … my... WIFE!**_

**Every muscle in my body clenched as I stalked toward him slowly, visibly sneering. His expression immediately changed from thoughtful to shocked when he saw me moving toward him. **

_**You're going to die. And I'm not even going to drain you because I don't want your depraved, repulsive blood coursing in my body for a second of this life. **_

**The door swung open and in an instant Charlie was standing between us. "Mike. Go. Now." Charlie commanded, sounding very much the police chief. As soon as Mike and Jessica were gone, Angela and Ben cleared out as well.**

**"Edward, come with me. I apologize. I never should have put you in this situation," Charlie said, apologetically. "I should have known this was too soon," Bella added. Neither of them blamed me, but they didn't understand.**

**"If you could have heard the disgusting things he was thinking... about Bella," my voice faltered. Total betrayal from a friend, disappointment from Bella, and shame poured over me. Charlie's arm went around my shoulder as he shuttled me outside. "We're going to hunt now. I'll keep a safe distance, but I will be near to make sure there are no - incidents," Charlie explained. I nodded in silent agreement and we went toward the woods. "Bella, stay inside," he called back over his shoulder. I didn't give it a second thought. The blood lust had taken over.**

~xOx~

When the door closed from the kitchen to the outside world, I stole a moment to look around the room. Lights twinkled on the tree. The fire had gone out in the fireplace. Empty champagne glasses littered the coffee table. The stench of Jessica's overly flowery perfume invaded my nose and sitting on Charlie's chair was the open box that I had given to Edward.

I walked slowly into the kitchen, poured more champagne into a glass and said to absolutely no one, since no one remained, "Happy New Year." I took a drink. "Cheers." I toasted to the heavens.

Leaving the glass on the kitchen table, I walked upstairs to start packing. There was no way in _hell_ Edward and I were staying. Not after what had happened. How could I have been so stupid.

_Selfish Bella. Way to go. Always the one to push._

I started throwing clothes and shoes haphazardly into bags.

_You knew he would be vulnerable and yet, who gives a shit. Lets do it anyway._

I zipped a suitcase and turned to grab some things from the dresser when I noticed a package waiting for me.

I grabbed it, turning it in my hands and stuck one finger through the brown paper wrapping to tear it open.

_What the...?_

My thought cut off as I realized what I was holding. The jacket. That red jacket. I sat blindly, knowing I would catch the edge of the couch as I went. The red fabric stared back at me. A warning. A giant red flannel warning.

_Go. Run. Go. _

Anger swelled deep inside of me. Swirled in the lowest area of my stomach. Pitching and slamming into my ribs. Along with that anger stirred fear. A dash of revulsion and a pinch of hatred.

I dropped to the floor, my fingers easily finding the loose floorboard. I pulled it up and there inside was a shoebox. A shoebox full of everything I feared. I grabbed it and the jacket and ran down the stairs. Anger shook me and a silent sob wracked my body as I pulled open the door in the kitchen to leave the house.

I ripped tree branches from their bodies and made an impressive pile before reaching for Edward's discarded lighter that he left behind. I opened the shoe box and lit first envelope, tossing it on the pile, then another and another. Pictures, letters, all the disgusting things he had sent to me, all of it, in the fire.  
>I finally held up the jacket, dangling from my finger and thumb and went to add it to the collection as a hand wrapped around my wrist in a death grip.<p>

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." The voice was low. Angry. I knew before I looked, I knew it would be him.

"Let go of me. Just go away and leave me alone and don't ever come back." I pulled my hand from his, but he just held tighter. Oh my god, pain. "James, stop."

"No. I won't stop. You belong to me, Isabella. Not some disgusting, sloppy human." He sneered down at me. His other hand came up to rest on my cheek. "And tonight, I am going to rectify that. That _mistake_." His voice dripped with hatred and animosity.

* * *

><p><em>*Jack's Mannequin - "Meet Me At My Window"<br>_


	23. Chapter 23

"_Relapse _

_Prevent _

_Trigger _

_Intent _

_Now drown _

_High strung _

_Say X amount of words _

_Your solar, bipolar _

_Panic disorder _

_Seems harder and harder and harder _

_Still you try to control it"*_

* * *

><p><strong>The deer were far less satisfying than the thought of tearing off Newton's face. Far less satisfying than the massive caribou I had acquired a taste for. But, as the third emptied into my scorched throat, the rage began to dissipate. <strong>

**Charlie was a quarter mile to the southwest. He was leaning against a tree trunk, politely turned away. At one point, I heard him on his phone. His thoughts centered around a body found in Forks. And body parts? I wasn't sure. But, it seemed he felt this was the work of a vampire and not the presumed animal attack. **

**Our thoughts echoed one another, as if speaking in unison.**

_**Smoke.**_

_**Fire.**_

**We took off through the trees, both of us dodging branches and weaving through the foliage. It was definitely coming from the direction of the house. Being younger, stronger, and faster worked to my advantage. I soared past Charlie effortlessly, struggling to zero in on someone, or some_thing's_ voice at the house. **

_**Silence. **_

**At full speed, I hit the tree line and the images before me came into focus. Bella, standing beside a massive bonfire, and someone whose back was to me...**

_**James!**_

**Bella's face was excruciating. **

_**Pain.**_

**His hand was wrapped around her wrist. Her knees began to buckle.**

_**Faster.**_

**I reached him before Bella noticed I was near, slamming full force into his back, throwing him to the ground. "Don't... touch... her," I growled low. My knee was on his back, pinning him to the ground. His arms were at his sides. And... I just... snapped.**

**_You can't overpower me now. See how _you _like having a torn shoulder._**

**I gripped his wrist, pulling back and twisting in a quick movement, not realizing my own strength. His arm cracked from the socket, the shoulder joint separating with a loud crunch. Shock and awe swept over me as I looked at the arm in my hands. **

**While I was still distracted by the realization of what I had just done, James tossed me off of him, sending me reeling back. As he charged toward me, I pulled his severed arm back and swung like a major leaguer playing for the world series title. **

**I swung like my life depended on it. **

**Like Bella's life depended on it.**

**The arm connected with the side of his head. Shattering glass broke through the silence. **

**He fell to his knees, then flopped forward. Limp. Lifeless. Broken.**

**His head rolled to a stop several feet away.**

**Suddenly the reality of what I was still holding hit me. In a shudder of disgust, I tossed it into the fire and watched it quickly become engulfed in a blue flame. **

"_He bends his breath around my name_

_And I am humbled, I feel small and plain_

_But his arms are angels by his side_

_You need not ask if they're open, just how wide "_

Everything happened so fast. I was about to hit the ground on my knees, his hand gripped tighter and tighter, and then, Edward.

As soon as his grip left my wrist, I was up on my feet, and watched as Edward swung at Jame's head. And then, silence. Ear splitting silence.

I crossed the few feet separating us and flung myself into his arms. I whispered over and over, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"_His lips are day_

_And his skin is night_

_Oooh, and with our love we conjure up the twilight_

_His fingers are music to my soul_

_And I feel his song play everywhere I go"_

Charlie walked up to us, laying one hand on Edward's shoulder. "You two go in. Take her in. I'll clean up out here."

I felt Edward nod, and then I was in his arms, and sitting on the couch in the living room. I have no idea how long we sat. I could think of nothing more than I could have lost him. Forever. My arms wrapped under his suit jacket and clung to the soft material of his shirt.

"Please don't leave. Don't leave me." I couldn't even get my voice to function at a normal volume. It came out rough and weak. "I'm sorry."

"_He loves with rhythm_

_And paints with flame_

_He comes in pieces with no name_

_I won't need answers, I'll just know_

_Cause I've read the sonnets about his soul_

_He can be ordinary in the best ways_

_And still dance like a poet_

_Through every word he says"**_

**I had never seen Bella so terrified. Traumatized. Vulnerable. She was like a child curled into my chest, clinging to me. The sound of the fire roaring outside grew louder. Occasionally we heard a pop and Bella would jump in my arms. **

"**I'm not going anywhere," I said quietly. "This wasn't your fault. It was never your fault," I murmured reassurances over and over until she began to relax. Charlie walked in and gave us a single nod that said everything was handled outside. We would express our appreciation later, but for now he was concerned about Bella. **

**Sliding on his department issue coat, he looked toward us with hesitation. "Bells, I need to go to the station. Are you two going to be okay here?" Bella nodded. **

"**Maybe it would be better if I took her home, Chief," Bella nodded again, then stood to hug Charlie, asking him to be careful. He assured her there was no reason to be concerned any longer and shook my hand before leaving.**

**I wasn't about to leave her side at this point. We walked, hand in hand, without speaking, to her bedroom. The clothes and suitcases were all in disarray and a floorboard was missing. I silently went to work, packing everything back up. She took one last look around the room, the smell of smoke was heavy in the air. We headed down the steps and she unplugged the tree before opening the door. **

"**Allow me," I offered, lifting the bags. Bella took the key from under the mat and put it in her pocket. **

**My vision was fine tuned, searching every inch of the woods that faced Charlie's property. Nothing. No movement at all. **

_**He's gone. You killed him.**_

_**Murderer.**_

**I shuddered at the thought, rationalizing my actions a hundred different ways. In my mind I knew it was self defense. But I felt... dirty. Disgusting. **

**Bella got into the car and scrambled to lock the door as I packed the trunk. By the time I came around, she unlocked my door just long enough for me to get in. She curled into my side and I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, holding her as tightly as I could while I drove.**

**I checked the rear view mirrors more than a dozen times. Even though I _knew _he was gone, he haunted me. The fear of losing her, seeing her in pain... I would never forget that.**

**It wasn't until we got into the house and in our swing, with smoke billowing around us from my mouth, that she finally spoke.**

~xOx~

"Edward. I don't want my house. I don't want it anymore." I attempted to move closer into his side, which was completely impossible, because at this point, I would have to literally crawl inside him to be any closer.

"I know he was there. I know it. Because I got the jacket back in the mail. It came to Charlie's. It was wrapped in brown and it was in there, in my room." I took a breath.

I twisted away from him to look into his face. "Are you okay?" My hand rested flat against his chest. "I can't believe, I mean, I kept thinking, oh my god, I could lose him, forever. And then, I didn't. But it scared me." I ran my hand from his chest to his throat and over his jaw, holding his gaze, memorizing every tiny microscopic thing that made him. I can't lose him.

~xOx~

"**He was... where?" I nearly choked on the smoke I was exhaling. **

_**The jacket. The flannel. It was James's? **_

"**Alaska? Here _and _Alaska?" The questions spewed from my mouth. I lit another cigarette and inhaled deeply, leaning back in the swing with Bella against my chest. **

"**Bella, that's your house. It's entirely up to you, if you want to sell it. I understand." My feet swung out from under me as we slid forward. "But, I don't want you to regret it. And I certainly don't want you selling it for me. For my sake." My brows furrowed at the thought.**

**James being _in _her house made my skin crawl. Part of me wanted to burn it to the ground. But, there had been enough destruction and burning for one day. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN **  
><strong>Thank you to all of our amazing readers for your support and kind words. We appreciate you more than you know. QoH and MW<strong>  
><em>

_*Blue October - X Amount of Words_

_** Sara Bareilles - My Love_


	24. Chapter 24

I wanted to sleep. I prayed for some sort of way to just escape from my thoughts. I kept trying to push them down. Lock them away. But every time I thought about how close I came to losing Edward, everything just came right back.

When we went back into the house, our home, I grabbed my laptop and sat down at the dining table in the kitchen. As I waited for the machine to load up, Edward walked behind me, dragging his fingers over my bare shoulders. He moved around the table, slipping out of his jacket, hanging it over the back of chair next to mine.

I smiled weakly. "I need a realtor."

~xOx~

**My fingers ran up and down the length of her shoulders. "Is there anything I can do?" I sat beside her in the chair. "Bella?" She turned in her chair, placing her legs between mine. "I got you something," I confessed quietly. **

"**And I'm not sure..." I began, "if now is a bad time?" She slid toward me slightly and took my face in her hands. "I just... it's a time issue," I explained, sliding my palms up her thigh.**

**Her expression changed to... surprise? Realization. My fingertips hit lace. Then skin. My eyes flashed slightly, widening for just a moment.  
><strong>

_**Holy shit. What. Was. That? Lace? Thigh highs?**_

~xOx~

I kept his gaze as his fingers stilled.

"Surprise?" I raised an eyebrow. "I was hoping it would be. This evening didn't quite work out the way I had hoped." I gently pulled him closer, my hands framing his beautiful face. I spoke quietly, my lips almost brushing his, our noses touching. "Gonna make it up to you. I promise." My lips met his in a soft featherlight caress.

I pulled back and smiled at his blissed out reaction. Eyes almost shut, lips parted. God I missed being alone with him.

~xOx~

**In another life, my hands would have trembled, fumbling against the place where lace met skin. When Bella leaned into my lips, my fingers moved smoothly against that very place. As they reached the innermost part of her thigh, she squirmed lightly against her chair.**

"**Now, then?" I asked with a crooked grin. "Close your eyes."**

**I leaned back and slid the envelope out of my jacket pocket. "Hold out your hands," I instructed, setting the envelope in her palms.**

"**The timing is terrible, all things considered. And maybe we can change the dates. I don't know. I can call, though, if you want to. But I really wanted to just, do this. I mean, I know you really wanted to do it before. And then my shoulder. And then we were stuck in Alaska with me all..." her eyes opened and laughter poured from her mouth. **

"**I'm sorry, I'm rambling," I joined her in laughing. "Open it."**

~xOx~

I flipped the white, slightly wrinkled envelope over. I loved his handwriting. I quickly tore the paper open.

"You know that I love everything you do for me. You could have said you had a big surprise for me for Christmas, taken me to a local laundry shop, and we could have sat all night popping quarters into machines and washing socks. I would still love you the same. If not more." I smiled as he nudged me to, 'just open the damn thing already'. He was obviously slightly nervous. Though he shouldn't ever be. It was endearing and it made me want to wrap myself up in his lap again and just be.

_First things, Bella. The man might explode if you don't open the gift. _

I pulled out two tickets and a slim brochure from a travel site. I read the slip of paper a hundred times before I looked up at him.

"Really? We can do this? I mean. I didn't think." I flipped over the tickets. "Next week?" He nodded his head, his smile still cautious. I leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Yes. Yes! Lets go. This is beyond. I mean. No words. You are so amazing."

Turtle Island! I couldn't believe it. We had mulled over the idea before we had gotten married, but, with his arm, and everything. I was completely surprised.

~xOx~

"**Yeah?" I said, grinning wide. "It would be just us on the plane, other than the pilot, I mean. And, the island... is private. Really private. As you know. It would only be us there, too. I mean, even the staff is far, far away. And I thought maybe just getting away from the cold... there are goats!" I blurted out a whole mouthful of random thoughts at once. **

_**SUPER freaking cool, Masen. You're a catch!**_

~xOx~

I couldn't help the peels of laughter that escaped.

"Excited about those goats, Superman?" His eyes were dancing with enthusiasm. He was beyond pleased that his gift had been so well received. And how could it not?  
>Now, I just needed to get this damn house on the market and sold. And I wanted that couch back. The rest of the stuff could stay with the house.<p>

"And in other news, we need to get back to the Alaska house, I want that couch back. The rest of the stuff can stay. I don't need the furniture. I do need to pack personal belongings though." I shifted slightly in the chair. His fingers tapped slowly over my knees. "Think we can get everything done over the next week? The packing, and couch moving, I mean. Who knows how long it will take for the house to go." I bit down on my lip. "Maybe, you and I can do some property searching while we are on vacation? Find someplace that we might want another getaway home? Or we can just travel around, living in hotels." I shrugged. "Look who's rambling now." I laughed.

~xOx~

**I stood, lifting her up. "We can do whatever makes you happy," I said sincerely. "In a week?" I pretended to think. "It's a good thing we don't need to sleep." Her arms locked behind my neck and she stood on her toes to kiss my lips. **

"**Absolutely, we can do that." I lifted her onto the table, my hands sliding up both thighs simultaneously. "But, I think you had a surprise for me," I added, cocking a brow as my fingers slowly searched for the lace. She nodded slowly, her eyes focused entirely on mine, the evening's events pushed to the back of her mind.**

**With her arms still locked behind my neck, she pulled me in, whispering into my ear. Her hips shimmied forward. As she wrapped her legs around mine, my hands slid further up and met bare skin. "Ohhh... my..." I exhaled slowly. "That is sooo..." **

"_**The first time you looked at her curves you were hooked**_

_**And the glances you took, took hold of you and demanded that you stay**_

_**And sunk in their teeth, bit your heart and released**_

_**Such a charge that you need another touch, another taste, another fix"**_

**She plunged her tongue deep into my mouth, thrusting against me as her legs locked tighter around my thighs. My fingertips moved along her skin mixed with satin, elastic, and lace. Releasing my neck, she pulled slightly back, evaluating my response. My eyes were wild with need and she seemed more than pleased.**

"_**All lace in secret places**_

_**she moves you to touch with her hands"**_

**Bella's fingers worked quickly against the buttons of my shirt and she slid the fabric off my shoulders, tossing it into a heap on the floor. Her nails dragged against my chest before she pulled me back in to her delicious mouth, still tasting of vanilla and berries. **

**I wrapped my arm around her back, brushing against a zipper. Taking it between my finger and thumb, I slowly pulled down. The fabric fell loose between us before releasing completely. Running my hand up and down her spine made her tighten her legs once again. The friction** **sent a phantom chill up my spine and a warm current ran through me in all the places our bodies met. **

**Bella pressed me back toward the chair and lowered herself off the table, letting the grey fabric fall to the ground in a puddle around her feet. She stepped out of it, silver heels still on, and walked toward me with a smirk. She was giving me an opportunity to see exactly what she was wearing. **

_**For me.**_

_**My surprise. **_

**She straddled me on the chair, looking into my eyes for approval. **

"**Holy shit," I barely managed to speak, completely overcome by how unbelievably hot my wife was. **

_**All mine. Forever. **_

**She twisted her hair up on top of her head, arching her back, tilting her head to the side to invite me in. I welcomed the invitation, placing open mouthed kisses along her neck, down to her shoulder, back up to her earlobe, taking it in my teeth. Her hips ground into mine as a breathy moan fell from her lips. **

_**Oh dear god. I will never deserve this creature. **_

**I couldn't bear to take another stitch off her. My thumb ran up and down the straps of the garter belt as her hips rocked against mine slowly. She slid one hand to my waist, releasing the button on my pants. **

"**Let's... go... upstairs," I managed between kisses, lifting her as I stood. She nodded, wrapping her hands behind my neck, parting her lips against mine. She reached behind me as we walked by the light switch, turning them all off in one motion, never leaving my mouth. **

_**A happy new year after all.**_

"_Under the cold sheet, where the welcomed touch of skin and skin will meet_

_Out on the inside where a girls prize is at the tip of your tongue_

_Where every move and each impulse brings clarity_

_To stay like this is everything you'll ever need"*_

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN**  
><strong> There are only 27 chapters to this story. We are nearly done and nearly scared to say goodbye. For now. Perhaps Bella and Edward will decide to come back again for a new story. We shall see. <strong>  
><strong>Thank you for your kind words. <strong>  
><strong>QoH &amp; MW<strong>  
><em>

*Dashboard Confessional - Rooftops and Invitations


	25. Chapter 25

"_I'll tell you that I love you by and by_

_I don't know if I'd survive without a friend like you in my life."_

We arrived back in Alaska not a day later. When we pulled up to the house, I had to consciously hold back the shiver of dread and disgust. I sat in the Jeep in the passenger seat, in the driveway for fifteen minutes before I had collected myself enough to just go inside. Edward held my hand and we just sat in silence.  
>I didn't want to go do it, but it needed to be done. Everything I wanted to keep, had to get boxed. Everything else was staying with the house.<p>

"_And I know words can be the worst to purvey_

_how it is I feel for you, it's hard for me to say_

_but if we keep it simple, I think it's better that way_

_tangled words tend to lead my messages astray"_

Edward opened the front door and I could smell him. He had definitely come back into the house. It wasn't just the shed. He had been in here. I straightened my shoulders and entered the living space.

I immediately noticed what looked like a pile of dust on the floor next to our tree and walked over to see what was, in fact, a pile of crushed glass and a golden ribbon laying on top. My ornament. Our ornament. I knelt on the floor next to the crushed ornament and wrapped the ribbon around my finger. I muttered a curse under my breath and Edward came to sit next to me. He reassured me that we could get another. That he would make it a top priority to get us another one right away.

"_This web we weave holds us hand in hand_

_and if we loosen our grips we may weaken these strands_

_so lets reinforce our love and let it echo through the land_

_and if we don't we may find ourselves washed up with the sand"_

I got up, and walked to the bedroom, I could smell him, here. The light was on in the closet as I peered inside. Edward's clothes had been ripped from hangers and were strewn across the floor. I almost gagged. I was starting to have a completely physical reaction to the fact that this, this, _thing_, had been in my home, touched my stuff, touching my husband's clothes. I wanted to burn it all. Everything he touched. I wanted to build a fire out back and just burn it all. I could buy new clothes.

"_I'll tell you that I love you by and by_

_I don't know if I'd survive without a friend like you in my life"_

~xOx~_  
><em>

**I had to keep my anger at bay. He tried to destroy our holidays. He tried to destroy our home. He violated our sanctity. He had threatened our safety. **

**But, now. he was dead. Gone from this world. And he was powerless, wherever that was. My anger would only allow him to have control over us. Over Bella. And he had no place here.**

**When she was ready, we went up to the house. My grip tightened, reassuring her that no matter what we faced inside, nothing could touch us now.**

**Bella fell to her knees beside the plastic tree, slivers of glass crushed to powder around her. Our ornament.**

"**We'll get another one," I assured her, my palm moving in slow circles against her back. "Let's pack and we'll head into town to buy _two _more, just in case," I offered with a crooked smile.**

**The sight of the closet was too much for her to bear. Bella's shoulders jolted as she stifled a retch. She covered her mouth with her hands, completely slack jawed at the sight of my clothes strewn across the floor. I shook my head, "It's okay. It's just stuff. We can get more. Do you want this... gone? Let's just get rid of it. Start fresh." I grabbed the box of trash bags and began piling the clothes inside to donate to the shelter in town. **

**When I turned to check on her, she was sitting on the bed, just staring into the closet. I moved to her, kneeling directly in her line of vision. Taking her face in my hands, I met her eyes. "I love you. And we're okay. Do you want to wait outside while I do this?"**

**She assured me she was okay and stood to pack a box. Inside she placed a few pictures, a handful of ornaments, and what looked like a journal I had never noticed before from the bedside table. **

"**Come on, let's get some air," I said, pulling the doors open in the bedroom. We stepped onto the deck, my lighter resting in a fresh pile of snow. Bella pulled a pack of cigarettes out of my front pocket, holding one up to her own lips to light it. She inhaled deeply before passing it to me, coughing slightly as she exhaled. Instinctively, my arms went around her. I wanted to surround her completely, engulf her in my protective shield. Prevent anything like this from ever happening again.**

"**What else do you want to bring with us," I asked, assuming the one box was just the beginning. We still had a few suitcases of clothes and toiletries, plus several pairs of shoes and her jewelry, back at our house in Seattle. There was zero intention of staying here longer than necessary, so we only brought one change of clothes in a carry-on. "I can call Fishbreath and the boys in a little while and arrange for the rest to be crated, if you want."**

~xOx~

I was eternally grateful when I slid the dresser drawers open and nothing had been touched, including the old Superman shirt that belonged to Edward, or rather, I had kind of taken over ownership. I smiled at the old blue cotton, folded neatly.

Edward was out in the living room on the phone with Jake, making arrangements for the couch to be reloaded and boxes picked up to be shipped back to Washington.

I tugged my black shirt quickly over my head and pulled the old blue one on instead, tying it low on my back.  
>I made quick work of the rest of the dresser items. Practically dumping everything into a box. I grabbed my phone and sent Edward a text, a smile danced on my lips.<p>

_Finished in the bedroom. Let's go play. I wanna get out. - B_

I can't help that my attention span was warped lately. I wanted to get out of the house, even though I knew there were other things that needed to be done. An hour or so away from this place wouldn't hurt anything, and Edward's eyes were dark, I was certain he would agree to leaving.

I waited a moment, listening to him talking still, he sounded a little frustrated, and I got an idea. I slipped quietly out the door and onto the back porch. I had been opening and closing the door all morning, tossing garbage out, hopefully he wouldn't notice.

I took off through the trees, laughing quietly under my breath. I came to an open field and sent him another text.

_Remember 'Find the Human'? Well, now it's Find the Vampire Girl. - B_

I dropped down in a bush and leaned my back against a tall tree and waited.

* * *

><p><em>*Brett Dennen - By and By <em>


	26. Chapter 26

"_Find me, here in your arms_

_Now I'm wondering where you've always been_

_Blindly, I came to you_

_Knowing you'd breathe new life from within_

_Can't get enough of you"_

**Find the vampire was _far _more difficult than find the human was for Bella. I closed my eyes, listening to the sounds of the forest. She was perfectly still, not even air moved from her breath. A twig snapped. Too lightly. An animal.**

"_I want to be where you are_

_In times of need I just want you to stay"_

**I caught her scent off to the northeast. Moving swiftly through the trees, I was careful not to alert her to my arrival. The wind tossed her scent around the clearing. I focused, finally catching a glimpse of my blue superman shirt through a barren bush. **

"_With you in time_

_There's nothing else_

_My life stands still_

_You are the will that makes me strong_

_Make me strong_

_If ever alone in this world I know I'll always..._

_Find me, here in your arms"_

"**You're it," I declared, tagging her arm. She jumped, her laughter reverberating off the trees around us. Musical, perfect laughter. "Let's get out of here," I said, holding a hand out to lift her off the ground. She beamed up at me, resting her head against my arm as we walked hand in hand to the Jeep.**

"_Finding peace and belief in this smile_

_Find some peace and belief in this smile_

_Can't get enough of you"*_

We jumped in the Jeep after a short detour back into the house to grab jackets, had to make it look good. No one would believe a girl wouldn't be freezing out here in the snow in a tshirt and jeans. Edward pulled a black hoodie on and we left.

We went back into town, hoping to find another ornament that matched the first. It wasn't the end of the world if I couldn't find one. Christmas was long over, so who even knew if they would have anything out. I always had the internet.

Edward parked the car and we unloaded silently. He met me on the sidewalk taking my hand in his and tucking them into the front pouch pocket of his sweatshirt. He squeezed me gently and we went inside the small glass blower's shop. Crystals hung from light fishing twine all over the room, glass curio's lit from the inside containing little treasures for sale. My eyes quickly scanned the store as Edward said hello to the shop worker. I smiled politely and then my eyes settled on the ornament.  
>One left. I made a beeline for the pretty glass heart, the ribbon on this one was blue, not gold, and I loved it even more. My fingers touched the dangling piece lightly. I knew I was beaming. I lifted the ornament from it's perch and held it up for Edward to see. He smiled and wrapped his arm around my shoulders as I came back to him.<p>

"This is it. I love it." The man behind the counter told us we could have the ornament for less than the ticketed price, but Edward insisted we pay the full amount.

_Love him._

My eyes were glued to his profile as he signed the credit card slip. His lips were carved in swoopy slopes, his bottom lip full and oh so kissable. His lashes, long and dark, framed his eyes. His jaw was sharp and set, and then he smiled in thanks to the man working behind the counter and my heart swirled in my chest. Dead as it may be, Edward always made me feel alive in that way.

~xOx~

**I kept the shopkeeper's card, placing it in a place of honor within my wallet. You never knew when that information would come in handy, down the road. We walked, hand in hand, on the quiet street in town. It had gotten colder and with the holidays over not many people were mulling about. I wanted Bella to have this chance, to remember this moment, something positive about a city that meant enough to her to have bought a home here. **

**She turned to me, gave me a kiss, and signaled that she was ready to go. We both knew it meant forever. **

"_I feel like making a move_

_Real geographic, a change in mood_

_We'll let go of everything we know_

_You and I will ride tonight_

_'Till the past is out of sight_

_We don't have to look back now_

_From the dark into the light_

_We can leave it all behind_

_We can stand together, we don't have to look back now"**_

Edward stuck around this time when the movers came. After getting home last night, we both indulged in caribou. I wouldn't let him sit on the bed, I didn't want him to sit on the couch, I almost wanted to just spend the night outside or in the Jeep, honestly. Being in the house was just very surreal.

Jake got to the house early. It was nearly ten a.m. when I heard the truck coming. When he pulled in, his other friends were with him again, and I could hear their laughter before they even opened the door to get out of the moving truck.

Edward was sitting at the small kitchen table with the laptop open in front of him, pretending he wasn't paying attention. The flex of his jaw gave him away and made me smile.

I had made it my mission to stick as close to him as possible while they were here. So that their thoughts were blocked.  
>We had moved every box we wanted loaded to the living room.. and we had also moved the couch out as well. In hopes that if I stayed in the same room, all would go quickly and without incident.<p>

I opened the door for the guys when I saw them approaching the house. Jake didn't look too thrilled to be here, and the other guys were fighting laughs.

"Hey, Bella! Not likin' the snow, girl?" A bright smile flashed from, oh, damn. Embry!

"Just decided that Alaska isn't going to work out for us." I told him with a smile. I held the door wide as they all walked in. Embry whistled low as he registered the fact that we had everything set up and ready to load. I was quite certain that Edward would have loaded the entire thing himself if he could have. He didn't look up from the laptop, just kept a look on his face as if he were concentrating really hard on something he was reading. He was probably trying to hold his breath and still come off as a living breathing human being.

As soon as the guys got to work, I slid into the chair next to Edward and whispered to him quickly.  
>"You look kinda sexy sitting here brooding, Superman." He turned his face toward me very slowly and I got the smile I so badly wanted. I let my hand drop to his thigh. My fingers tracing small circles over his jeans. I watched his eyes darken. "They shouldn't take much longer." I leaned into his lips and left him with no doubt as to what I wanted to do when the movers had gone.<p>

* * *

><p>*Find Me - Boyce Avenue<p>

**We Don't Have To Look Back Now - Puddle of Mudd


	27. Chapter 27

"_Let's sail away_

_Find our own country_

_We'll build a house and beds out of palm trees_

_Let's get away_

_Let's push our lives aside"_

Day 3

Edward and I have spent the last two days laying around on the beach and swimming. The color of the water reminds me of Edward's green green eyes before the change. I am totally in love with this little island. I wish Edward and I could stay here forever. The sun is warm and bright, the little beach cabin that we are staying in is absolutely gorgeous.  
>We've been looking at different properties. Maybe some day we will find another house in a location that we both love enough to buy. I'm not too worried about it. We still have the house in Mercer, no one will even have to know we are there. And I really want to travel for a little while. Go places and see things with him.<br>As soon as I know he can handle it, I am buying us concert tickets to see Blue October. Shhh. It's a secret. I am hoping I can get my hands on tickets to an acoustic set. He would absolutely die.

Other than that

"_Just a keep a hold on me don't let go_

_If you float away, if you float away_

_Waiting too long for a ship to come_

_Don't you float away, don't you float away"_

"**You should have seen the size of the..." I walked into the room just as Bella slammed a book shut. I eyed her suspiciously. "What are you doing?" I asked, sitting next to her on the bed, leaning around to find a journal. "Ahh."**

**She took my face in her hands and kissed my forehead, instructing me to not worry about it. "Oh, this sea turtle. It was massive." **

**The smell of the salt air was so thick in the air that you could taste it. The sky was clear, not a single cloud for as far as the eye could see. The water stretched out to the horizon all around us. And no one, _no one, _was here. The staff stayed far away, giving us, "honeymooners," as much time alone as we needed. We ordered food to stock the cabin and fed it to the animals nearby. And lots of champagne. **

**The ocean breeze blew through sheers that hung from the windows and the bed. Bella was in a cloud of white pillows, an enormous white duvet beneath her bare legs. My hand ran along the** **length of them, slowly working its way up to her thigh. "The food here isn't great, but I could definitely get used to the scenery," I said with a crooked grin, my palm resting against her stomach. **

**She reached up, curling a finger toward her, indicating she wanted me closer. I stalked up her body slowly, straddling her in the bed, until our noses touched. "You know, there are _many _Fijan islands. We could... find one. To build on." Her hands slipped behind my neck as she nodded, tilting her head and pulling me into a kiss. **

_**I could get used to this.**_

"_The courtyard where the garden stands, _

_Behind the beach, in crystal and sands, we shed our clothes, _

_And felt romantic, tinted by the moon fantastic. _

_Bright and warm, and hours alone, absolve us of the sins we own."** _

On and on it went for a full week.  
>The water, the sun, the relaxed atmosphere. We did find a small island that brought up the discussion about building a home, a place where we could be alone like this and just enjoy each other's company. I didn't care where we went, so long as he was with me. And I had no doubt that he would ever leave my side.<p>

I walked outside on our last day on the island and was greeted by four goats. I couldn't help but laugh. Edward poked his head outside just in time to see them run off. Obviously they sensed danger. Wonder why?

"There goes dinner, Superman." I doubled over in laughter as he wrinkled his nose. I guess the idea of chasing down a goat for sustenance did nothing for him. His eyes flashed, an evil sort of emotion showed through. His lips curled on one side.

"Oh. Oh no. No.. no no." I stepped backwards away from the wooden steps and into the deep sand.  
>His eyes roamed my face, "Oh yes. Yes."<p>

I took a few more steps backwards. "Edward. I am not dinner." I held my hands up as if to make him stop moving closer. Instead, I watched his jaw twitch just slightly. I turned and took off toward the water, before my toes even touched damp sand, his arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me into the sand. Tiny sparkly bits of powdered dirt exploded around us, raining down and coating us in a fine layer of sand.

He licked his lips, slowly and I squirmed under him, pressing my hands against his chest. "You are such a nerd!" I laughed.

He lowered his lips to my ear and whispered, "Is that so." There was no question in his remark. Just a quick statement. His lips trailed over my jaw and down my neck.

My eyes closed and I gave in to just being with him. Here. In the sand with the sun peeking through wispy clouds.

Everything was right.

"_Pushing forward and arching back_

_Bring me closer to heart attack_

_Say goodbye and just fly away_

_When you come back_

_I have some things to say"***_

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN  
>And so we say goodbye to Edward and Bella. Thank you all so much for accompanying us on this journey. We appreciate each and every single one of our amazing readers. Thank you for the love and support.<em>**

_**QoH and MW** _

_*The Starting Line - Island _

_**Dashboard Confessional - Warmth Of The Sand_

_***Maroon 5 - Sweetest Goodbye_


End file.
